Am I in the wrong or am I justified?

In advance this is a long story 😳I’m a first time mam, my baby has just turned 5 months. I had a traumatic c-section birth and nearly died due to severe blood loss I had been told my the consultant afterwards I then had a strong case of the baby blues and anxiety taking him out of the house and I’ve only started recently taking him out on walks by myself and he can be a little difficult when we have brought him out with crying to the point of sobbing and cannot be consoled. My husband’s sister has been hounding my husband to let her mind him for the day since he was just born and up to now I have said no because of how I had been feeling, I finally caved and let her take him today for a few hours, she has a dog (medium sized) this dog has free rein in the house and there is no discipline in behaviour. I agreed to allow her to mind my son on the condition that the dog be kept in the back garden while my son was there. We have brought him up to visit every weekend since he was born so I have always been with him in this house and the dog has always been locked in the garden as I have said numberous times I am not comfortable with a dog near my baby this has always been accepted without issue as she and her mother (my MIL) understand my concerns. When we came to collect my son today my sister in law mentioned that my son seen the dog today through the back window, I thought nothing of that statement and then a moment later my mother in law says that the dog was sniffing at my sons feet and that my son who has a few jerking wriggly movements being 5 months old accidentally kicked the dog which means the dog was not kept in the garden as agreed and was even close enough to my son to possibly bite him. Which mean my sister in law lied to my face knowing I was uncomfortable with the dog being in the house near him. I know this has happened at least twice before, one time is a hunch I have from when my husband brought him to see his mother and I stayed home I’m almost certain the dog was near him then too and the second was a time when I was there and I asked my husband was the dog put in the garden and he said yes for me to then hear my mother in law tell the dog to get off the bed when my husband had brought him upstairs to see her as she was that day unable to get out of bed due to injury which means the dog was in the bed while she was in the bed holding my son. Having to bring him upstairs happens a lot as she is unable to get out of bed most days due to depression and she does not want me to go upstairs to see her as she is embarrassed. Today I told my husband I was no longer comfortable with my son being brought up to the house unless I was there to insure the dog was not near him and that I would no longer allow my son to be brought upstairs where I cant see him and make sure the dog isn’t there. So my mother in law will just have to come downstairs to bee him when we visit. I also said I would not allow my MIL or SIL to babysit in there home again as the one rule I put in place was not respected on more than one occasion. I am aware this is their home not mine and are entitled to do what they want in it but am I unreasonable to say I need to be present at all times while my son is there? I also told my husband to tell them they would not be minding him again and they did not respect the one request I made, and that I would need to be present at all times from now on but he is reluctant as he doesn’t want a confrontation and I’m sure he won’t bother to tell them and he hopes it will blow over. Am I unreasonable in my decision and am I unreasonable to tell them myself when I see them this weekend?

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In laws are tricky and you have to remember this is his family and he needs to speak to them. He doesn't want to do it then I wouldn't get involved as you won't make things better. Simply tell him that they are welcome to visit your house instead. The major issue here is your anxiety and how it can affect your son. My post natal depression was very bad and with counselling and apps I was able to redirect my brain. Apps like calm and headspace are very good, meditation and counselling. When you say your son can be difficult- that's totally normal as he is too small to regulate his emotions. So he needs guidance and we cant wrap them in cotton wool. That will make him afraid of the outside world and anxious. Kids pick up on energy also. But as you are dealing with a lot on a personal level it's hard to see some things in a different light. You don't need to tell your gp you want to speak to a counsellor, you can go private as that's what I did. Best of luck with everything 💕

I get what you’re saying about them being his family but I’m his wife! I think my main issue is that I don’t want the dog near him as dogs are not safe near babies I know not all dogs will bite but this is the only rule I’ve put in place and it was completely disregarded, it’s the only thing I’ve asked, I’ve never been regimental about when he eats and sleeps I told them go with the flow with him don’t worry about his schedule do whatever keeps him happy I even said if you can’t settle him let him watch kids tv which I never do at home so I’ve been very relaxed in how they look after him I just cannot trust them now with the dog also I put that rule in place and made them well aware of it several times throughout my pregnancy I always had a no dogs around baby’s stance even before I was pregnant so this isn’t part of my anxiety, the problem there is they know my anxiety about leaving him with others and knowing that the first time I let them look after him they broke the rule

I know u are his wife and I had the same issue with my ex cos he would not stand up for me (my situation was a lot worse) and that's when I realised u do marry the family and he would not say a thing to them cos he wanted to keep the peace. U won't win this battle so the best thing is to tell them to visit u at ur house. They probably think ure over reacting etc. Many don't take things like post natal depression, baby blues seriously etc as they never had that and put their own laben on it.

I suppose I’ll just have to tell them if they want to see him they will need to come to our house but this will only lead to asking why as they fully expect my husband to accommodate them so either way the conversation will have to happen

"My husband to accommodate".. they are not strangers and he is not only your husband but their son and brother. He is not in the easy situation either and it's unfortunate that this is happening but just say u don't feel comfortable with the dog like u said before and to avoid arguments it's better if they come to visit. Hope it all works out