in November 2021 Babies 🇬🇧

SEND Pathway

I just really need a place to let it all out and maybe hear from anyone who’s been in a similar place. Lately, I’ve been feeling completely overwhelmed — like I’m drowning in motherhood and life in general. Our little boy started school nursery in January, and after just a day and a half, we were called in for a meeting with his teachers and the SENDCO lead. They explained their concerns and said they felt he needed to be placed on the pathway for assessment. It wasn’t a total shock — his previous nursery had raised flags, but despite me asking for more support, nothing was ever really followed up. Since January, he’s been added to the SEN register, has a one-to-one TA due to behaviours that can be dangerous for him, and we’ve been accepted onto the autism assessment pathway. Right now, he’s really struggling with all the changes in his little world — and it’s showing. His outbursts are frequent and intense, and sadly, friends and even family have started stepping back. I’ve heard him called a “brat” or “naughty,” and it breaks me. He’s only 3.5 years old, and while that’s his age on paper, emotionally and mentally, he’s in a very different place. People started to drift away around 18 months ago, when the first signs of him being “a bit different” started to show. It’s been a very isolating journey since. Both me and my partner work full-time, and I handle the school runs and most of the day-to-day. My partner has started talking about wanting another child, but honestly, I can’t even imagine how we’d manage — not now, and maybe not for a long time. Thanks for reading if you’ve made it this far. I guess I just needed to say it out loud — I feel a bit lost right now.

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Big love. Being a SEND parent is really bloody hard! The hardest thing is other people's ignorance.

Oh I really feel for you but I just had to come and comment to say it sounds like you have found a really supportive, understanding school which will be so beneficial for your child 💕

Oh I’m sorry, that’s so difficult. My son is too, we suspect AuDHD, he has three half siblings all autistic and both myself and my partner are AuDHD so it was no surprise to us. He’s also been referred but it’s a slow process. Our son goes to a forest school and generally he seems to be doing really well there. It’s sad that people call him naughty, it shows complete naivety. Neurodiverse children are a third younger than their age mentally, so really he’s about 2.5 in understanding. People just need to give him time, learn what overwhelms him and what he needs to calm down. Maybe there’s too many children at the school nursery and the sounds and lights are too much? If you ever want to talk please message me, you’re not alone x

From one SEN parent to another, it’s hard, it’s lonely, and it’s so emotional. I wish there was more support, I wish the delays for getting diagnosis and support weren’t so long, and I wish more people understand x