I have a real fear of giving birth so I totally get you (and I’ve never even done it before like you have!). I’m under a consultant for pregnancy related anxiety and she supported my choice for a c section from the beginning. Keep pushing for it if you think it will be best for you and your baby..like my consultant said it’s our body and we deserve the right to a choice! Good luck with it all x
Can you book onto any Hypnobirthing or antenatal classes? I've done a few online hypnobirthing classes and we go to face to face antenatal ones (happy parent happy baby). I was terrified at the beginning of pregnancy, now I am more excited.