Weight problems

Right I know how this is going to be come across and I’m not trying to be horrible or mean it is just out of concern. I’m starting to get concerned about my SD’s weight, she is 7 years old and weighs 6.5 stone and in size 11-12 clothes (just to add it’s not for the length), she is the largest child in her class and looks much bigger against other children her age and older. I don’t want people to think I am shaming her for her size ,I am not, I’m just getting concerned for her health it is starting to get to the point that she is getting short of breathe when running around and does not want to go outside and play because it gets to hard for her. Now please don’t get me wrong me and her dad are not the pinnacle of health. We are both slightly overweight (according to BMI) but we are not overly large people. Her bio mum and step dad however are very large people. I don’t know how to approach the subject with them that her weight is starting to affect her without them taking offence. We as a family go out every time we have her for a long walk or a bike ride have three meals a day no snacking, where as at home she sits in on an iPad all day and they do not take her out and she told me today that at home she snacks all day as well as meals after I told her it was nearly lunch and she could not have a snack. She said at home she just helps herself from the cupboard I feel that this is out of boredom maybe. I feel like I’m rambling now. What I’m asking is would you get involved with this or would you just let her bio mum and step dad carrying on the way they are going and just try and instil healthy habits when with us. TIA

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I am in a similar situation with my SS. He is 10 and weighs 10.5 stone and is in adult medium clothes. We try and encourage him to be active and not over eat but at his bio mums house there are no real rules and she massively over feeds him or lets him over eat to the point he has been sick multiple times. We have brought this up with her several times and she does not see it as a problem. It has caused several arguments and it can be really tense at times. It is something you or maybe his dad can mention but unfortunately I wouldn’t expect there to be drastic changes (from personal experience). The school nurse might be an option, but this could be overruled if bio mum is classed as main parent and doesn’t want to take it further. We try and do the best we can and are trying to make peace with that (at the moment) it’s all we can do. I hope you have more success than us for your SD sake x

I'm the same, my step son is 9 stone 3 and 10 years old, he's on the 99th centile and is visibly very big. I always do healthy food when he comes over for dinner (twice a week). I just think as long as I am doing my bit then I will carry no guilt! Whatever his mum or whoever else does is up to them. I've tried to talk to my partner about it but he gets extremely defensive. We were at a fayre once, my little boy wanted to go for a wee so just him and I walked off to find a toilet, he wanted an ice cream when he saw the van so I got him one but we ate it away from my partner and step son so i didnt have to say yes to my son and no to his. I thought it was the kindest thing to do but when asked what took so long I said I got him an ice cream. I was told I was out of order and my partner marched his son straight over to get him one. Personally I couldn't believe it, we argued and it was me that was the bad guy although I'd tried to do what I thought was the right thing.

@Emily it’s so hard isn’t it?! I also have a SD who is the complete opposite, she’s very athletic, active etc and we don’t want to seem to favour one of them but she actually burns off the calories where as SS has a very inactive lifestyle, at bio mums he spends all his time upstairs playing games and eating sweets etc. I just get so frustrated that bio mum doesn’t see it as a problem especially with SS going to “big school” in sept, I am worried about bullying. I am larger and got horrendously bullied. Feel like I can’t win as we encourage healthy eating and he resents coming over as he doesn’t have to eat vegetables at his bio mums