AITA? My husband had a panic attack and shouted at our son

My husband had a panic attack tonight and yelled at our four year old to shut up! My husband made an honest mistake by dumping hot coals in a dumpster and it caught on fire at work! Long story short he got a call about it after we got home and freaked out thinking he was in some legal trouble. I was in the garage smoking and he came in there and started to panic. I did my best to calm him down and do breathing exercises but our son was crying because he left him upstairs (we have a gate at the top of our stairs) and he lashed out and told him to shut up! I yelled at him to never talk to our son like that again and shut the door in his face! AITA?

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I wouldn’t say you’re TA, but I also wouldn’t say your husband is one either. Emotions were running high and he was panicked but you were protecting your baby. I’d encourage you to just talk it out with him. He was for sure overstimulated but it’s important to address behaviors like that and how to deal with potential issues in the future. I’ve been on both sides where I got overstimulated during a panic attack and lost my temper on my toddler but I’ve also yelled at my husband for losing his temper. We’re not perfect. We just try to do better each day ❤️

Not TA, but neither is your husband, he was panicked, stressed, and overstimulated. He shouldn’t have yelled at your son like that, but mistakes happen, especially when you’re freaking out and stressed and overwhelmed, it’s hard to control those feelings. And I’m sure it didn’t help that you freaked out on him on top of what he was already feeling. You should have remained calm in that situation and expressed your concerns and feelings. Yelling and freaking out isn’t going to help him or the situation if he is already in a bad mindset.

You are not in the wrong at all. Your husband is the adult who is teaching your child how to act. Your husband now needs to explain to your son that he is sorry for shouting and that daddy was wrong to shout at him. Everyone makes mistakes with children but as adults we need to own up to them and show our children how to behave