A Letter to My Husband During Menopause

Telling your partner with humor and kindness about what you’re going through can go a long way. A letter to my husband during menopause template can help.
You’re living through menopause in the most immediate way.

But chances are, your partner is experiencing the effects, too.

Penning a menopause letter to your husband can help you connect with them about this often-wild ride.

Menopause is a totally natural process that affects almost all women.

Up to 85% of women experience menopausal symptoms, including hot flashes, vaginal dryness, sleep disturbances, lack of sex drive, and weight gain.

And that takes a toll on our daily lives.

And maybe our relationships.

We’re here to help.

In this article: 📝

Can menopause destroy a marriage?

In an otherwise happy marriage, menopause alone is unlikely to lead to divorce.

Gray divorce — one that happens after a long marriage — is on the rise due to a variety of factors, including an increased social acceptance of divorce and women having more financial freedom to leave unhappy marriages.

Retirement, empty nest syndrome, and chronic health conditions all have a role to play.

All of this gives us clues as to why divorce among people 50 years and older has more than doubled in the past 30 years.

While it’s most common in people who have been married for shorter amounts of time or are in their second marriages, it’s worth taking note of.

Can menopause make you fall out of love?

The short answer?

There are so many factors that contribute to a couple separating.

And while menopause may challenge relationships, there’s not a one-to-one relationship between it and divorce.

If you are committed to your marriage, it makes sense to work a little harder to keep it healthy.

Communication is key.

In fact, a lack of it is the number one reason people seek divorce.

Also important are emotional connection, respect, developing long term goals with one another, and a general satisfaction in the day-to-day of marriage.

And menopause can affect your day-to-day hugely.

So what can we do?

This study shows that women are more satisfied in their marriages when their husbands are aware and educated about menopause.

And considering that this 2004 study showed that 66% of divorces amongst middle-aged couples were initiated by women, involving your partner in your menopause journey makes sense.

How can I help my husband understand menopause?

Sometimes in the moment it can be hard to verbalize your feelings.

That’s why we’ve put together this letter for you to use.

We hope it helps.

Show it to them as is, or add your own words and experiences.

What’s important is to keep talking and sharing with your partner.

And the menopause community at Peanut is ready to help you every step of the way.

A menopause letter to my husband

Hello love,

When we got married all those years ago, when our faces were wrinkle free and our knees didn’t creak, the last thing I ever thought I’d be doing was writing this: a letter to my husband during menopause.

I know talking about this might feel weird.

Can you imagine my mother having this chat with my dad?

It makes me laugh a little as I think of how that might’ve played out.

But I want you to know how I feel, because I’ve always shared everything with you.

The joys and the sorrows, the challenges and the triumphs.

There’s a lot going on right now.

We’ve all heard the jokes, about the hot flashes and the forgetfulness.

But to be honest, when I’m living those moments after a terrible night’s sleep, sometimes my sense of humor deserts me.

It makes me feel less capable and more fragile than I’m used to.

This body of mine also suddenly feels a little unfamiliar.

It might look a little different too.

Will you be patient with me as we discover it all over again together?

Sex might not be quite what it once was, but let’s work on it together.

It doesn’t have to be forever.

We may once again swing from the chandeliers.

(Metaphorically, of course, because hip replacements are a drag.

See, my sense of humor actually is still intact!)

And you need to know it’s not you.

When I maybe snap, or am not as patient as I usually am.

The mood swings are part of the roller coaster of hormones that I’m trying to ride out.

Let me know when I’ve overstepped, but please be gentle with me.

We women often talk about what wives wish their husbands knew about menopause.

So I’ve decided to tell you.

Because I want to look back at this time a little grayer, a little wiser, but most importantly, with you by my side.

A hot flash may sound like a quick, passing inconvenience.

But sometimes it literally takes my breath away.

It’s so unpleasant.

My clothes don’t fit like they used to, and it’s driving me crazy because I know I’m eating the same as I always have.

Everything is just a little harder to do now than it once was.

I’m going through something I have very little control over.

The insomnia may just be the worst.

And there’s the night sweats and the sudden chills that keep us both up.

And I know you want to fix it.

But sometimes I just need you to hear me and sit with me through these wild times.

No one can fix it, and no one can take it away completely.

I promise you, I’ll do what I can to make it easier on us, but what I need from you is just for you to be there.

Let me vent.

Let me get upset over something small, even just so I can apologize later.

Hold my hand like you’ve held my heart.

Gently.

There have been many changes over the years, and we’ve always faced these challenges together.

This one is no different.

I need your help, but most of all, I need your understanding.

As I enter this new phase in my life, I can’t imagine anyone else I’d rather have by my side.

I love you.
Always.

If you’re planning on writing a menopause letter to your husband or partner, why not run the first draft by our Peanut menopause community?

They know what you’re going through.

And it can help to know you’re not alone.