My mom is critical of my husband changing our daughters diaper
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As someone who has been SA during childhood, I can understand a normal amount of concern. Also, to be accused of being guilty just by association is just wrong and can develop an unhealthy amount of fear within your spouse. There are plenty of good parents that would never do anything like that. I agree with what @Princess also said about having a discussion.
I don’t understand her mindset. He’s your baby’s father and your husband, not a complete stranger. If you trust him, your mother should trust him as well. Your trust in him is all that matters. I’d sit down with her and explain that he’s your child’s father and he will be involved in all aspects of caring for her, including diaper changes.
@Princess for a little bit more backstory my mother had a very traumatic childhood. Her step dad used to peep in on her showering. And her old sister was impregnated by her father (not my moms dad.) she refuses to talk about therapy for these concerns 😢
@Michele I should have put it in the top post. But she had a bad childhood. Her sisters dad impregnated her and my mom was constantly watched taking baths by her step dad. Because of this she didn’t even allow my dad to change me and my siblings diapers growing up. And feels I should do the same “if I care about my child.” (That’s what she says)🥲
@🤓🎮Tyler📺📚 thank you so much for the input and I’m sorry that happened to you 🥹❤️
That would be the day where I cut ties completely with my mother. That’s so inappropriate and so creepy. She’s literally sexualizing it. She needs some serious help that’s unacceptable.
I mean I was sexually abused as a child and I trust my sisters, husband, etc. to change my son
She needs to mind her business. You deserve help and if hes shown no signs, it’s not his fault he’s a male and that males have done that before. I have a smart mouth so I would’ve been told her “if it bothers you so much then why don’t you come and do it for us ?”
@Mia I’m so happy you mentioned this because I feel the same way and talked to my husband about cutting her off completely once we move. I’ve tried to talk to her multiples times about it but she’s a my way or the wrong way type mom
Yeah, I think that is highly inappropriate and she is basically accusing your husband of doing something. I understand that she may have past trauma but that shouldn’t give her an excuse to treat your husband the way she does. It’s literally a diaper.. takes 2 seconds
Oh my goodness, how terrible. I can see how she would be worried and fearful, truly I can. She’s faced a tragic life-changing traumatic experience and it’s normal for her to be so leery of others around your daughter. However, I don’t think it’s helpful for her to believe your husband is capable of that as well. It’s harmful not only to him and you, but to your sweet babe as well. I still feel if you trust your husband, that should count for something in her eyes. If she trusts you, and you trust your husband, that has to have some meaning. I’m so sorry you’re in this position and I’m sending all positive vibes and love your way ❤️
I think you should have a discussion with your mom about how dad is going to be hands-on, she sounds old-fashioned or possibly triggered, I wonder if she's ever been abused and she's just so scared for your child
That’s totally weird. I would say sit down with your mother and figure out the root of her concern. Sit down with both her and your husband after (and preferably someone else) to converse about it. Any man with a daughter who has that placed over him when he would never even think a thing like that will become very fearful of the reactions of those who are accusing them. It demeans their parenthood and puts them at risk. Any parent being accused of heinous acts against their child that are false would be hurt and confused. Don’t let it go on for long.