Husband rejected Fathers Day Gifts… what would you do?….

So our marriage has been under strain. But I let him by me balloons for Mother’s Day and just recently I pampered him for his birthday. A few weeks ago I put on the calendar a day of pampering for the Father’s Day weekend. Yesterday he asked me how I felt about our marriage. I said we’re a blessed family but we don’t always handle our blessings correctly. So from that he felt bad and purposely missed his massage appointment. Now I feel like he sabotaged yesterday’s plan to pick up his new suit on purpose as well. He said he was tired. I felt my whole heart shatter as he looked me in the face and expected me to feel sorry for him. I’ve loved him through so much pain and rejection but this just really crushed me. Maybe it’s because I’m pregnant with baby number 4. The issues we have sadly have plagued our marriage for years i don’t understand why throw away my gifts now but I’m tired of him rejecting the parts of me he doesn’t want or feel worthy of. While watching him benefit from other things and be loyal and passionate about other commitments. But I’m supposed to understand his pity. Feels more like pride hidden in feel sorry for me. How would you handle this?….. I’m tired and heartbroken. We waited 12 years to even be parents due my medical issues. Now i don’t even want to hear about Father’s Day…. I feel so stupid for loving someone so careless with my heart.

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Is your husband the type to enjoy pamper days and massages?

@Adele yes he love’s massage

Sounds like you need a heart to heart. Try to go into the conversation with the intention to listen and gain an understanding of where his head is at. He's obviously going through stuff.

@Adele I’ve done that and I give grace and we always end up here. Arguing. Disrespecting me in front of the kids but being nice to them. And telling me he refuses to leave. At what point does my own mental and emotional health matter? Woman are always encouraged to be so loving and graceful just for it to be abused. I’m tired.

How often is "date night"?

The book empowered wife by Laura Doyle helped me a lot. Read it, it will help you with the feelings of resentment towards your man. It will give you your power back.

@Klueless Kat rarely since having kids. We try but are not consistent. Mainly due to our schedules and me finding the right sitter. I also feel if I don’t ask or initiate it’s not a thing.

@Jenni thanks will check it out

I'd say, you are overdue, maybe even way overdue. I'd start trying to find time for dates again. In fact, that's EXACTLY what my hubby and I are doing. We just celebrated our 10 years married anniversary, and have 3 children together along with the two I originally came with. We've spent the last couple of years starting to see how date night can fade away and with it goes your connection. In trying to reconnect, to stay married, the solution lies in the dating game. Someone once said that we make time for the people and things we love. Someone else said where there's a will, there's a way. If he's ditching out on doing nice things for him, whether you set it up or he did, it might be a sign of him struggling mentally and unconsciously punishing himself, maybe for losing connection even. 🤷‍♀️ I'd start there. Date nights. It's been helping us. Good luck with whichever course of action you take, even if it's nothing but venting here. 😉🍀💕

My hubby has been calling me to meet him for speed dates. Lol It's fun and much less expensive than normal dates. Have someone watch the kids for half an hour to an hour. Meet for fries or milkshakes. Try to be done with it within 10-15 minutes of being served and head our separate ways, usually me back to the kids and him right behind. 😁

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