P*rn Addiction
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It's ok if you don't like it regardless if someone else doesn't mind it, clearly it is affecting your relationship, yall could join online support groups for porn addiction
@Katrina I wouldn’t really mind if it was just watching videos. It’s the fact he has to comment on them what he likes about the girls in said videos that hurts me so much. Some of the things he commented were so explicit and personal to the pornstars that I felt so grossed out.
Ugh that sucks :( it makes sense why you would feel that way. Even if he stopped watching the videos all together he has past a boundary multiple times and that's hard to over come. I'm sorry you are going through that. Definitely look into your insurance to find a therapist they can help guide both of you through this.
you’re gonna have people commenting basically saying you shouldn’t be upset and that porn is normal. my advice is to disregard those comments because imo it’s just women trying to make themselves feel better that their partners watch porn. porn is so not normal. looking at naked women and watching strangers have sex on a screen is not normal and it is a POWERFUL addiction. not to mention how corrupt the industry is (racism, sexism, sexual assault, pedophilia, etc). also it is a fact that porn alters the consumer’s brain to view people as objects. gross. personally I would give my partner an ultimatum. not a “if you watch porn one more time im leaving you” ultimatum, but a “I need to see you genuinely and authentically working towards recovery and getting the necessary help you need to beat this addiction” ultimatum. do not let anyone make you feel like you don’t have a right to be upset or that your feelings aren’t valid because they 100% are.
Therapy is the ONLY choice. I personally would leave. If a person wants to stop an addiction only they can do it. It’s possible but they have to really want it. Sometimes when a person realised they are about to lose everything they will do what it takes to bring it back.
How do you consider it as an addiction? What are his habits with it? Depending on the severity, some CBT could help both of you.
There is an app that blocks this kind of search and also he can add your email and number to get a notification every time he click on things that are gonna lead to that. But I agree with others about therapy too I think doing all this together it might help and he needs you to help him with that. I mean If he really wants to change that and save your marriage.
@Audrey I second what you say. Porn is not normal and the reason why people say that is because it’s so immersed in our social media and movies now, etc. it’s disgusting and ruins relationships/marriages because your spouse is lusting after another person in their heart when watching. Also…. How about the actors in those films? They are being put in a vulnerable place to make money. Not good. But all that is just by-passed when a person has this addiction because they aren’t caring about who it is affecting, just that they are meeting their own physical needs above anything else.
There's aa meetings for sex addicts porn addiction falls under that
Yea my partner had a similar issue. Luckily he's Christian, even if im not, spirituality has helped him stop. I kinda explained that to me it feels like infidelity. Especially as my body and hormones change in pregnancy. I think he should seek counseling if it's that hard for him to stop cause it's difficult to quit any dopamine source cold turkey.
If you’re in the US try Sondermind for an affordable therapist.
I honestly feel that porn is definitely an addiction, I like it, I hate it. I hate that I like it. My husband is the same way as me. Personally I wouldn't be the one to understand as my husband and I watch that kind of stuff together, but if only one person is doing it, and it hurts you, then therapy could be a good thing. If he wants to change for you so that you're happy and he can manage to change and still be happy, then I say it is a win win situation.
How does him watching porn affect you and your relationship? (Not a judgment question, asking sincerely). What about it hurts you? I agree he shouldn't be commenting on videos for sure. But I personally do not see anything wrong with watch porn as long as they do not try to reenact what they watch when you are intimate together. I'm not sure what insurance you have but majority do cover mental health services like therapy. I would look up therapist that are covered under your insurance, you should be able to find it on your insurance website.