After having this second baby. How can I clearly tell my mother in law to not ask if I’m going to/still breast feeding every single time she has the chance to speak to my husband?
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I wish!! The way she is, she’d laugh at me and taunt me for it. I told her I never want to cut my sons hair rn and she threatens that she’ll take him to Tijuana to get a hair cut and when I smile and say “no youre not” she laughs so hard that I get serious. I’m literally a joke to her. It’s just in her nature with the way she was raised I guess.
@Victoria she is old school mexican and will recommend any “remedy” in the book even if it makes me fat. I totally appreciate your support girl. Thank you so much. I’m seriously going to have a script of lines written up ready for every time she asks me so she can get a clue to just not. And the fact that I actually want to try but nothing produces just really sucks. You’re so right, as long as the baby is being fed and not starved by my dry breast, then I should be OK. I wish I can just tell her no I’m not going to breast feed. But I don’t want to put myself in that mindset either, you know? I want to try, but without her damn old school pressure
@Aracely nope I would not stand for that what the hell ?!? Your partner needs to stand up to her and if not just cut contact 🤷🏻♀️ Cut your sons hair ? 😳 there’s lines you just don’t cross and she doesn’t seem to see those , if you can’t have healthy boundaries with her then get rid !
She’s honestly ridiculous. After my first was born, docs told me specifically not to put anything on the umbilical cord. And as soon as she’s on the phone with us she makes sure to tell us to put alcohol on it. Like what! Lady you do not have a degree to tell me this. She also warned me to keep a beanie on him and not have him under the fan because the air will go through his crown and cause colic. Doesn’t make any sense lady. I can’t listen to her. She’s delusional and controlling. I’m so not ready for that second wave of her redundancy 😅
AND THEN… she has the nerve to ask me if she’s a toxic mother in law in front of her whole entire family putting me on the spot. Even her own brother told her not to answer those questions and she responded with “oh I’m only joking. But am I?” Like clearly if you have to ask, then it’s a yes. I obviously just laughed awkwardly and said no. That was horrible she had to ask that and after the death of my grandfather too. So unsettling
@Olivia yeah period. And that’s exactly why she earned the right to not know about my second pregnancy. I’m glad we joked about it to her too so we can see her reaction. And after joking about it, a week later we find out we’re actually preggers 😂 I love that for us. Things happen for a reason. And no I can’t count on him to always stick up for me behind my back. He only does it for certain things. Other than that, he is whipped. But I am just grateful he is atleast on board with us keeping this hush hush to avoid her dramatics
@Victoria I appreciate your advice. I’m going to stick to it. Wow like anyone can afford a nanny these days. Jeez. I’m sorry for her. All I know is that she’s teaching me what not to do to my kids when they grow older. And that’s probably why all her kids rebelled as teenagers because she was so strict as a parent.
Cut ties. Straight up don't talk to her. My mate copped a mouthful from her mum with both her kids because she couldn't breast feed. Her mother called her "lazy" and "a bad mother" ... HER OWN MOTHER! So she hasn't met her second grandchild. Frankly, if people can't respect the boundaries you've set, then they can fuck off until they learn some manners. If your husband can't back you up on your wishes, then he's just as much to blame. If he wants to see his mum, he can go to HER house. Put your foot down babe. You don't need to take this shit. Motherhood is stressful enough without the pressure from other people weighing you down. You asked her nicely, now TELL HER firmly.
Your husband needs to be telling her not to ask!! « That’s really none of your business, Mom. »
She can ask as long as she’s not given an answer. He needs to say “that’s none of your business”. To her.
Why is it any of her business? How you feed your baby has nothing to do with anyone but you and the baby. Tell her “I appreciate you asking, but unfortunately I am not comfortable sharing how I am feeding my child. Please do not ask again.” Kill ‘em with kindness and move along. My MIL also asked and pressured me to breast feed. I ended up breastfeeding my daughter and by time my maternity leave was over, my baby refused bottles so I had to quit my job. My next baby will be bottle fed (breast milk if it works out, formula if not). It’s no one’s business how my baby is fed. Ask her if she wipes her ass from front to back or back to front. Tell her you’re genuinely concerned. 😂
Tell her that her pestering you will cause you to stop breastfeeding and then she’ll be to blame. Also, there’s a post on here about a MIL cutting a baby’s hair and that child ended up in the hospital with over 200 stitches and now won’t ever be able to grow hair over the scar tissue. I believe that MIL is heading to jail over that. So maybe start being more aggressive with your MIL and let her know that you aren’t playing around and you aren’t bending.
Tell your husband to stop her from asking you that.
When she asks start asking her questions that would make her uncomfortable in return. Eg. When was your last pap smear? Have you pooped today? How many times a day do you fart?
Tell her to shove it up her arse , it’s not her place to ask about it