Divorce because of a cat, any advice?

It sounds like it’s deeper than the cat, it sounds like he just has no respect for you. I’m sorry. You don’t need to wash cats, but he should be brushing her coat to stop shedding, doing her nails as she’s an indoor cat and cleaning her litter regularly to make the house clean. Just make sure you don’t change the litter yourself but if you have to use gloves and clean your hands. It’s low risk but can happen. I did litter with my cat when she was home bound and it’s fine. Just sounds like he never wanted to get rid of his animal which also makes little sense if he’s not actually loving her by caring for her. He’s actually neglecting her if he’s not keeping her properly, maybe that’s why she hates him too.

You don’t need to wash cats? They are extremely clean animals and will groom themselves extremely regularly. It’s totally unfair to leave a cat in a garage, that’s an animal!! Sounds like you need to take up the cleaning problem with your husband, the cat isn’t the problem, it’s not the cats fault, you sound like you are blaming the animal which doesn’t have a clue and looking to ‘get rid of it’ when you shouldn’t see animals easy to discard. Toxoplasmosis is quite rare. If it’s an indoor cat, they most likely will not pass it on. It’s your responsibility as adults to keep the cats litter away from your child and clean it regularly. I just want to add, if he had the cat before you got together, you knew what you were getting into, and if you think he’s just going to ‘get rid of the cat’ you had that motive going into the relationship.

Don’t be mean to the cat 🥹 okay he should never have said he’ll get rid of it just to please you. It’s so unlikely you or baba will get toxoplasmosis, just make sure you’re not cleaning the litter. He should be doing it more than once a week though and cats don’t need to be washed. He should be making more of an effort with cleaning the place after the cat though seeing as you’re pregnant and you have concerns over this. Also quite harsh leaving the cat in the garage they need their human company !!!

Unless your eating the cats shit and being bit on a regular basis then your not gonna catch toxoplasmosis, I think you need to remember he had the cat before you moved in so it sounds like your own problem, get a divorce if you really don’t wanna be with him and his cat😂

While I agree with what everyone else has said on this. Using your towel to clean up the cats mess is wrong and disrespectful. Surely you’d use something you’d throw away after. It sounds like he’s got more respect for the cat than you, although he’s not taking care of her properly leaving the little that long. I have 2 house cats and have to change it 2/3 days while still taking out the poo everyday. I don’t think he should be expected to get rid of the cat, it’s not the cats fault. It doesn’t sound like he will ever get rid of her but you do need to have a serious talk with him about it. I think you need to come to an agreement about how often the litter should be changed and that when baby’s here, the cat will not be priority over baby

Exactly that’s an animal it’s not a human being! The litter and the poop is on her paws, how disgusting is that

@Lauren he said that will get rid of her when we moved. Of course I want to divorce but he doesn’t want to, that’s why I ask for advice duh

@Sarah Thank you for your advice, he has ADHD. I think that is why he is neglecting about his animal and us

Are you serious?😂if you don’t want to be with someone you leave, you don’t go on an app on your phone and ask for advice😂 stupid girl

The litter is definitely something that needs to be sorted. Baby will be crawling around and it’s not nice for the cat either. If the litter is too full the cat will only find somewhere else to wee or poo

That’s why you’ve got a whole husband that cares more about his cat then he will ever care about you😂😂😂😂 weird bitch

talk about my miscarriages with ur face showing you pussy

@Lauren and yes I download the to app to find help because I don’t have any family around me, there’s no shelter available and as someone else here say probably it’s deeper than that. Why do you think I left the house? I came back because I didn’t have place to go and I was giving birth. You are the stupid with your comments out of sense

Guessing English is not your first language Stop blaming the cat if he can just be ok with getting rid of the cat he shouldnt have got it in the first place you seem very uneducated about cats to

I feel like you’re overreacting.. My husband and I got a cat AFTER our son was about 2-3 years old, he’s now 4 years old. He got the cat FOR me. Even though it’s for me and most the responsibilities could be on me but my husband helps out. I’m sure he’ll be helping out when I’m pregnant (currently trying for baby #2). I do bathe my cat even though everyone says they clean themselves. We use our towels on the animals as well 🤷🏻‍♀️ (unless it’s not washable, we throw it out afterwards). We have a dog and a cat. I clean out the cat litter every month and the pee pads every 1-2 weeks. Our cat is also an indoor cat.

For the first year of my sons life we lived with my mum in a tiny house with her 7 cats and dog, I couldn’t even imagine one cat having sm of an affect on me. Also cats are family. I honestly think it’s more of a relationship issue which has nothing to do with the cat

You are valid. As a pregnant woman, you SHOULD be prioritized more than the cat by your partner. This sounds like it could be deeper than the cat, like he may get some emotional support from his pet or something. Idk, but don’t let these comments make you think you’re crazy for wanting to be prioritized over an animal.

You can still have a cat when pregnant. It’s cleaning the litter box that you can’t be doing. You stated you got with him when he had the cat, so I do think it’s unfair to ask him to get rid the cat when you knew he came with the cat. Animals are not just to be thrown away. They are commitment and you seem very fine with just tossing the animal away as your content with it being in the garage which is truly sad. You and you husband need to establish a boundary and what you would like from him so he knows but at same time you have to respect that he loves his pet. Before being pregnant did you help with the cat? It’s a team effort with caring for an animal in the home. I get your frustrated by him but you’re taking it out on a helpless animal that has done nothing wrong to you and treating that animal like garbage

You don’t need to wash cats. He definitely needs to clean the litter everyday though! Other than that I can’t think of why you hate it so much unless there is something deeper going on. Getting rid of a cat because you’re pregnant is ridiculous. But yeah he definitely should be making sure the litter is changed regularly and cleaning the hair

Idk what culture you come from so maybe that is a factor. My husband has offered to get rid of our cat but we both feel to bad to do that so we’re trying to make it work even tho I have issues with her fur (long hair), and litter and concerned about her touching my babies stuff. You guys need to find solutions. Divorce seems really drastic as a first option. Can you guys get an auto cleaner/litter robot? That worked for us. I plan on keeping the cat away from baby stuff, esp when we move and getting her a catio or letting her go outside and in garage like he used to let her (I know some ppl hate that idea but he’s let her before I met him) and I told him to take her to get groomed and nails cut. He’s slacking on last part and baby is almost here 😅 maybe you can have a mobile groomer come and groom your cat? Talk to him and try and find solutions unless you want a divorce really for some other reasons then I can’t say about that.

Also just block the cat from baby areas, they make screens that cover whole door ways to keep cats/dogs out but still let you have the door open and see into a room etc, I thought of getting one too if I need it when baby comes. Even thought about getting her those rubber tips for her claws too if needed. I feel your only option you’ve tried so far is just get rid of the cat all together

Also great thing to teach a baby as they get older to just throw away animals cause they aren’t your favorite 🙄🙄 this is what’s wrong with the world

i have 5 cats and i have my whole pregnancy, cats are very clean animals and don’t need to be washed but he should be brushing the cat and cleaning the litter box way more often, i clean my two boxes once a day. you don’t need to worry about toxoplasmosis as long as you aren’t the one cleaning the litter while pregnant. I now have a 10 month old and she absolutely loves the cats, having them is great because it teaches her about animals and how to treat them. it’s extremely cruel to keep a cat in the garage and i think your husband has every right to be upset about that. a persons cats are family members and if someone wanted me to get rid of mine i would kick them out too😂

That poor cat. Cats are very clean and sociable animals yet they are shut in a garage and their litter only changed once a week. I’m so sick of seeing irresponsible pet ownership on this app. Yes your husband is in the wrong for not cleaning the litter out daily but you are more in the wrong for being with someone who had a pet before you and expecting them to get rid of them like pets are disposable and not lifelong responsibilities.

ADHD doesn’t excuse animal neglect and spousal issues. I have ADHD; I look after a toddler, a husband, a cat, keep my household sparkling, work full time and still have time to myself. He’s just being lazy and disrespectful to you and it sounds like the cat is the tip of the iceberg. Raise concerns about the cat’s mistreatment, take it out of the garage, have him help keep the house clean and ask him to do the litter every day. The animal is not dirty, she’s being neglected.

Just leave, find a lawyer and file for divorce he doesn’t need to agree

I have a cat and 2 dogs they live inside the house sleep with us. My husband and my son clean the litter box once a week cat bath it’s not needed, I don’t think u know that because ur not a cat person. I feel bad for the cat alone in the garage that’s terrible. Ur problem it’s not the cat it’s u and ur husband.

So I had a cat for 19 years who I had to put down because of cancer. My dad got me that cat at age 4 and my dad died. Did you ever ask if the cat had some significance? If it does then you are a major AH for telling him to get rid of it. Also not only that animals are family when you agree to care for them they become family too. You are not invalid for feeling that way but the cat isn’t the problem here. There’s something deeper going on. Now if that was his ESA you a major AH because you don’t just go get rid of them. I’m not being mean I’m just explaining how it makes you look. Please go to therapy both of you. Also as long as he’s cleaning the litter it’s fine your risk is 0 as long as you don’t touch the litter box.

As for the disrespect with the towel that’s majorly fucked up but cats shouldn’t be confined to a garage get it a kennel and only cage it when you guys leave , keep the babies room door closed so it can’t go in there.

Also may I suggest I know baby is coming but once baby comes spending money on things is gonna be questionable more. Spend the money and get an automatic cleaning little box now and remind him to empty it when it needs to be which I’m sure is every week at max but still I would say get that. Tell him Invest in litter box liners to help keep it clean as possible

@Beth this comment was gold lol

Okay first of all, yikes😂 I have 3 cats and toxoplasmosis is literally not a concern unless you’re practically rubbing your hands in their shit. I’d never get rid of my animals for someone. Maybe you should step off your high horse and only date people who also hate animals as much as you do😂 he should be cleaning their litter regularly but cats aren’t supposed to be bathed. They self-clean. And they’re not dirty animals.have you tried therapy?

Maybe you should just kick yourself out. The cat deserves better

There are a few things that could be done just to make your life easier. You don’t need to take your feelings out on that poor defenceless cat, it’s not its fault that you don’t like it. Number 1) if it’s an indoor cat (which btw is better and safer for the cat it doesn’t need to be left outside) then toxoplasmosis is rare. Also bring that poor cat inside- keeping it in the garage is just cruel. Number 2) if the litter smells- change it. I’ve got 3 cats and still change my cats litter- they are indoor cats. And I just wear gloves and wash my hands thoroughly. Scoop the tray everyday and change it maybe every couple days or something. Get it another tray too so it has a couple of places to toilet and it will make life easier. You can also get litter fresheners to stop it smelling so much. Number 3) cats don’t need washing - they clean themselves, only if they are very dirty from being outside or something. Just get a brush and get some dry cat shampoo or something and keep her-

-fresh that way. She just needs a good brush. Number 3) if you’re not willing to look after the cat your husband needs to. Honestly you both sound immature and sounds like you both are neglecting that poor cat by not changing its litter and leaving it in the garage. And if he is not willing to look after it properly then you need to give that cat to a home that will appreciate it and look after it. And if you can’t agree on any of that, then you shouldn’t be together.

He’s not getting rid of the cat ever. If it bothers you that much then just leave. Staying in a relationship fly a child never works out the way you want it to

Also I have ADHD and my partner has ADHD. We clean the cat litter everyday. Its not an excuse

😱 wow.... my husband doesn't like cats, but he never would have expected me to get rid of my cat when he moved in and actually cleaned the liter box when I got pregnant. If you can't accept someone's pet, you shouldn't have dated them in the first place. You need to just leave so that poor cat can get some peace. You also aren't going to get toxoplasmosis if you aren't even changing the cats litter. My cat was old and passed away while I was pregnant, she lost control of her bodily functions and peed all over my floors. Me and my baby were/are perfectly fine. He obviously isn't taking care of the cat well, so if he treats you worse id definitely leave, it isnt really up to him if you just file for divorce. But it doesn't sound like he makes you live in the garage, so obviously he treats you better. Id make you sleep outside if you tried to make me get rid of my pet 🤷🏻

Yes^^!! My husband never wanted cats but he literally drove me to pick up all THREE of mine after we married because he knew that’s what would make me happy. He cleaned the litter boxes while I was pregnant even though he never wanted them. Maybe you’re not treating HIM good enough.

If this is how you act about a poor defenseless animal I fear for how you will treat your child. Brb, gonna go hug my kitties extra hard.

I gotta say I'm on husband's side on this. There's no problems with the cat. If it was like the Demon possessed cat I knew who attacked any living thing on site then I'd understand. But there's no problems. Toxoplasmosis isn't even a risk if you're not the one cleaning the little box, which you're not. Just put cats things and litter boxes in an area blocked off by a baby gate to keep it all from the baby. I don't know why you'd marry someone when you have such a hatred for his cat and you know damn well he doesn't wanna get rid of it. And to divorce him cause he won't get rid of this cat he loves? Really? You're gonna sit and complain about him not caring about you but it's the other way around hun let's be honest. He's had the cat around longer than you, that cat brings him such joy and he feels so much love for that cat and you don't give two shits about how he feels. You only care about yourself. You want him to get rid of something he absolutely loves for absolutely no valid reason at all.

Idk the way the post is written it seems easily fixable by purchasing a self cleaning litter box?

Sorry but I’d kick you out 😂 he had the cat before you cats are extremely clean animals I have 2 one I had WAY before my daughter and my boyfriend wanted another one when our girl was 7 months now she has two cats she’s growing up with. That cat should not be in the garage.