Boyfriend looking at other women on social media

Personally, I don't have an issue with my partner watching porn or anything of the such. Past partners have talked about women they fancy etc and I've been the same about men. I watch porn too and have always been very open about it. We are human after all and it's unrealistic to think we won't ever look at someone else and think they are attractive just because we are with someone. So I don't think that in itself is an issue. The issue comes in that you have expressed your feelings and how it impacts you and he has, not only ignored it, but now hiding it which makes it deceptive and disrespectful. You're a partnership. You should respect each other's boundaries and talk through things. If something impacts you in a negative way, he should be helping alleviate those feelings in any way he can. Or at the very least talk through it and reach a sustainable compromise x

Personally think all men do it tbh you can’t force a man to stop looking at influencers tiktoks or videos of girls in bikinis and only fans ect.. only fans is like a difference version of porn, you wouldn’t stop a man watching porn would you? Fit influencers tiktoks they would never even notice your boyfriend so it’s not like he’s on tinder and genuinely talking to other girls you get me. That’s like you walking in the street and looking at a guy, you look but you don’t think much of the actual situation? It’s in all of our normal everyday behaviours.. you watch TikTok and I don’t think you would skip every video with a man in would you?

@Cerys Collins no and I get what ur saying 100% though I don’t watch porn I understand most men and even women do I think it’s the fact he’s tryna hide it from me and act like he doesn’t do it which probably bothers me the most

@Corinne yess 100% I think it’s mostly the fact that he acts like he doesn’t do it and acts sneakily about it that bothers me more but I understand we’re all human and find other people attractive relationship or not i don’t save videos of men pictures of men etc I just find it disrespectful for him to be doing it on the sly id rather him just be honest about it

I think the problem is.... Most men are simple creatures. They're like kids. They'd rather hide it than be honest, knowing drama is coming their way. But if you have already been honest and explained how you feel, hiding it is just going to amplify the issue and create an even bigger multitude of problems x

If I’m being honest i personally don’t think he’s hiding it to be sneaky but in a way maybe he is putting your feelings into consideration as it’s a normal thing to do and with you asking him to stop or however you express how you feel it’s hard for him to stop as it’s a normal thing? Perhaps it’s cis he won’t want to argue over it as it’s not worth the call out over something he thinks should be okay as it’s a human instinct, I get you as you say you don’t watch porn so maybe in your eyes you’re not as comfortable with it which is perfect fine but you both need to have boundaries but you also both needs to understand each other! Trust me I get you, in 28 weeks pregnant I’m emotional and I’m always finding something to dig at with my partner but I’m to stubborn to say I’m in the wrong and I just expect him to do what I want but I need to allowed him as well to do what he likes as long as he don’t cheat and message girls and we have that’s trust. My problem is how much he games tbh

@Cerys Collins lol the gaming is a constant thing too girl lol But thank you I get what you’re saying and if it was something as serious as messaging girls and cheating etc it would be complete different thing and I think he most likely does try to avoid the arguing maybe i just wish he was open and honest about it and told me it’s something he does and doesn’t see an issue with but I appreciate all responses as i like to see what others think about things like this as I got nobody I could really ask about these things. Is it something that happens with you also (if u don’t mind me asking) is it something that ur partner hides or is just open about it? I guess I started feeling like it’s only my boyfriend like I was enough or he wasn’t as attracted to me anymore but i completely understand that’s most likely just a me problem with self esteem and that it’s normal to find other people and “celebs” attractive

@Corinne yes I wish he understood this but I get what you mean completely and ur definitely right I think it’s just a thing with most men. Thank you 💗

Think you just need to find a balance in yourself too hun and do things you like to distract you cos it’s honestly just a boy thing and I don’t think he means anything by it, I live with my partner and tbh he just games more than anything 😂 I also have no one since being pregnant so he’s kinda all I have and family obv but he’s like my best friend.. yeah he watches porn but very rarely and he normally just has a wan* next to me if I cba for anything but he will kinda just use his imagination and kiss me if he does to help him rather than watch anything as for only fans he just keeps asking me to do one with him 😂 he’s not interested in working and his game ngl. He had girls message him and he use to tell me but we would argue cos I hated it so not he don’t tell me but he won’t hide it like he woke delete the messages and he don’t reply back so if I see it I’m more than welcome to bring it up he says he don’t tell me cos I blame him not the girl as I hate when girls talk to him

He’s more interested in working and his game *

I personally think that if you’ve voiced your uncomfortable/unhappy with him watching other women, he should listen to that. It’s one thing accidentally stumbling across something on your tiktok fyp of women, and another from him to actively be searching on only fans. Men are capable of controlling themselves and should be held accountable. I wouldn’t be happy about it, or my partner watching porn. I would bring it up again x

@Meg only reason I tend not to is because it brings up the whole “looking through my phone” argument which then I feel makes me feel like he thinks I’m some sorta psycho girlfriend but I look because I just always get the feeling and get proven to be right unfortunately & men are 💩 and hiding things 🤣

I think your feelings are valid first of all. When you love someone so much it should make you feel physically sick at the thought of them looking at someone else with desire. To masturbate over someone else is intent. They're having an orgasm whilst looking at someone that isn't you! So gross and wrong. I don't think he'd like it if you were looking at other mens penis's and cumming to them in secret. There's not a man on this planet that is straight and deeply in love with you that would like that, in my opinion. If you've told him how you feel and he carries on it's disrespectful and should be brought up again. Maybe just ask how he's doing with not looking at that stuff since you last spoke and see if he brings it up. Give him a safe space to talk about it and then just discuss everything. Sort it out basically because something that simple can snowball and you might just give up on the relationship because of how shit you're feeling. Good luck..not easy topic