Extremely anxious about giving birth

I've been feeling the same, birth scares the hell out of me, I'm not even worried about when the babies here coz I know all that will come, but the thought of giving birth really overwhelms me. I'm trying to educate myself on birth and my options but it doesn't make me feel any better.

Hey, we all have these worries it’s normal. Take each decision as it comes but as someone who has previously had a baby the easiest way to give birth is to stay calm. Births and decisions are often out of our control and they constantly change. Don’t stress about it all at once. If you are really nervous I would recommend looking into hypnobirthing - I did it with my first and now doing it again with my second - it really helps you stay calm and collected not only in birth but the techniques have helped me in lots of different situations - hope you’re okay x

I cant recommend hypnobirthing enough. I Went from being terrified of the thought of giving birth to actually being excited and looking forward to it and had a really great experience overall with my first. I'll be using the same techniques this time around. I read Siobhan Millers 'practical ways to make your birth better' and then bought the positive birth company's hypnobirthing pack.

This was me a couple months back! I was PETRIFIED of the idea of giving birth. The only advice I can give is prepare yourself as much as possible. I’ve taken some hypnobirthing classes and am currently reading The Positive Birth Book by Milli Hill - they’ve both helped me sooooo much! Whilst it still scares me occasionally, I’m strangely excited for the birth now and experiencing what our bodies can do. I never thought I’d be this person as I panic about everything! I hope that’s some comfort :)

I read make your birth better by siobhan miller and it made me much more relaxed about it, I will be rereading before I have this baby! And just don't be too focused on a 'birth plan' and just go with the flow on the day, mine went completely different to how I wanted but I still had a really positive experience! You absolutely don't need to decide on the epidural before hand as I didn't want one but changed my mind during labour and asked for it

I also recommend doing some kind of hypnobirthing course if you can.. I did one with my first and it really helped me. I still have the books and will start practicing it all again as I get closer to the birth. Don't let it all overwhelm you, as someone above said, take each decision as it comes and see how you feel at the time. You won't know how you will feel during the labour pains until you're in it and if you can't handle it then you can ask for medication / help. Good luck xx

I also recommend a hypnobirthing course. A lot of in person ones cost hundreds but I really liked the positive birth company online course which was much cheaper

All you wonderful ladies who’ve done hypnobirthing? What does it actually entail? What does the course go through and what do you gain from it? I know that seems a silly question but I’ve seen so many ppl recommend it, but I don’t really understand what it is! X

Yeah I’ve only done free ones so far, and plan to do more! But it essentially teaches you how to get your mind in the right place for childbirth. What you can do to boost your oxytocin levels (which is the hormone that makes birth easier!), how to lower your adrenaline (which’ll make it more painful) etc. The Baby Academy do a great free online class

@Chloe it also teaches you breathing techniques, things your partner can do to help you. Ways to relax and calm your mind.. we did an in person class, think it was about £250. They discussed our concerns and ways to manage those mentally etc.. the lady who did ours was a midwife and was really helpful. I definitely felt less anxious going into the birth xx

I've done hypnobirthing classes myself but I still feel overwhelmed, I find it hard to not have a plan and go with the flow, I think with something as big as this I would want to know, I'm going in, this will happen and then I'm out. Personally I'm struggling to give in to whatever happens happens and I don't like that 🙈

It's completely normal to feel anxious about giving birth, especially the first time because it is the complete unknown. Saying that I'm having baby number 3 in October and I'm extremely nervous 😂 I think if you're not 100% sure what you want then just decide when you're in labour as so much can change anyway. My first birth I ended up having an episiotomy and forceps. My second birth I was induced (and wanted an epidural but left it too late 🥴) so pushed my son out with gas and air in the end. There is other pain relief you can have, I had diamorphine both times and that took the edge off a little bit but everyone's pain tolerance is different (I don't think mine is very good 😂) I'd say try and not overthink too much and see what happens, don't feel daunted you will be ok ❤️ Even though I really don't enjoy birth I'm here having baby number 3 as that love you will feel for your baby makes everything that happens go away ❤️

Education, preparation and repeat 🙌🏼🙌🏼🩷 I am a definition of a control freak. Labour is the opposite of control and every birth educator and midwife recommends you have to let your body do its job and relax. So what helped me a lot is to educate myself and prepare myself. I learnt everything there is within my reach about birth even prior to TTC. I feel way more in control knowing how labour and birth work, what is involved, what are the risks of each decision and know what I want and what I certainly do not. I found profiles of midwives and delivery nurses on IG, read their blogs, listened to their podcasts. I follow professionals from across the globe as to see where their opinions and advices match - that's how you know there will be truth in it if many people completely unrelated share opinions 🙌🏼 Last yr I had the usual idea of labour as something super painful, woman lying on her back being told what to do, having episiotomy, pushing when they tell her, baby taken away, returned fully dressed.

I thought that is how it is. That's what they show us on TV and tell us. But it is not truth. Yes you can certainly choose this type of experience but you don't have to. What you need to know is that labour is YOURS. About YOU. You have CHOICES. Now you have to do the job and find out what those choices are. What sort of birth do you want? How do you want to welcome your little on to this world? As mentioned above hypnobirthibg plus antenatal education and biomechanics of labour is the way. I can recommend: Thebumptobabychapter Alifeinlabor Both got amazing experience, 3+ children, medical professionals and most importantly never push for only natural or only medicated birth. There is balance in everything and that should be thr ultimate goal 🤗 After doing the bumptobabychapter online course which only costs £39 and is yours forever and u get to watch whenever and with your partner too, I feel extremely excited for the labour and cannot wait!

Some great advice on here already I won’t repeat but I will just add that I hit a certain point in my pregnancy where I just felt totally ‘zen’ about giving birth. I was ready, my body was ready and so was baby and all my fears just turned to excitement of meeting baby! Obviously this won’t happen for everyone but you might surprise yourself! Good luck!

Omg me too I look at other women and think They did it surely I can But I’m really bad with pain I don’t get period pains either so not sure what to compare terrible cramps too Scared of the whole ordeal I’ve got the hynobirthing course (online) Will look into it nearer the time Maybe try that My friend used it for her two and swears by it

Wow thanks so much to all of you ladies who’ve taken the time to reply. I really appreciate it 🥰 This has made me feel a little better and I will definitely check out the resources suggested and start making my mental preparations that way!

I was the same but The positive birth company hypnobirthing course is helping a lot and also reading about options - e.g. you can get a walking epidural meaning you retain some sensation, can walk and change positions etc so you're not helpless :)

I totally get how you feel. I felt that way before having my daughter and I thought it all over to the tiny details, and typically, my birth story was anything but how I had hoped and I ended up making choices I hadn't previously thought I would make, but in the moment, the medical professionals explained all my choices carefully and fully to me and me and my husband had time to consider different options and decide on the best course of action in the moment. I had a lot of trust in those around me which helped and my general feeling was that what will be will be, no point getting too stressed as that helps no-one, and I would do what it took for baby and me to be as safe as possible. I had every intervention under the sun in the end and finally an emergency section, and honestly it was still all relatively chilled out because the midwives and doctors were just fab and explained it all. It's still a daunting prospect to me this time around (planned section) but not so much. 💓