in Mindfulness for mental, emotional & spiritual health ✨

Am I wrong?

I am lost. My daughter has turned her back against me and it brakes. Her dad and I were married and had her obviously I found out he was cheating on me with my blood baby sister for the second time and left (first time I found out my sister was 14 years old). I divorced him and moved on with my life and they remained together. My family always held my back and encouraged that my sister was my daughters Aunt and that her father and my sister relationship was not normal, until about 3 years ago I figured out they wanted a relationship with her dad and thought I should have just been okay with this man sitting at the dinner table for just normal family gatherings, holidays and everything else saying I should do this for my daughter? I should have encouraged my family to engage a friendship with this man after him abusing me to the point of holding a knife to my throat, cheating on me, messing with my sister when she was a minor and he was over 20, I should be okay with pulling up to his house and my DAD cutting his grass? No? Am I right? I always agreed my sister yes I had forgiving her and she I would have had no issues being part of our family but not him. I would have dealt with him for our daughter for her birthdays, her graduations, her baptism, her performances. I moved to Kentucky because I could not take the pain from being right there with my family and not feeling like I could even hug my mom and dad and know they cared about me, I moved to a place were my fiancés family lives (we have been together 9 years so not just a short relationship) that loves me and treats me like true family. Every time we came to KY for vacation I wanted to live here more and more and God lead me here my daughter didn’t want to come so I said okay that’s fine I understand being she built life in FL but now she don’t really speak to me, she refuses to come see me tells me that even if I go to FL she don’t want to see me. It wasn’t like this before I left FL. Was I wrong for leaving FL? Should I have just allowed this man (monster) part of the family and been okay with it? Was my fiancé suppose to just be okay with that also? Someone please tell me if I’m wrong? How could they have manipulated my daughter this much? :( I don’t get it. How can she look at my sister like a mom? 😰😰😰😰

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Whoa

I mean, that’s statutory rape towards your sister. And a 14 year old may not know better. But the rest of your family should. And frankly, I would have taken the situation to the cops. Your baby daddy should have been arrested for that and done jail time.

Let me just correct here something… if he was over 20 and she was 14, they were not in a relationship. That has a name, it’s called pedophilia

Here’s what I would do- get a family lawyer in Florida. You need to bring evidence of this to court and show your baby daddy is capable of statutory rape. Then, they will ask why you left your daughter in the situation which you will have to deal with. But you definitely have a case for full custody. Honestly, you did back when it happened too.

Why the hell is that man not in jail???? 14 years old is a CHILD. A child cannot consent. She was groomed and that was rape. Why did no one in the family call the cops on this man? Sickening

Yes you are wrong for leaving your daughter with a father that toxic and literally pedophelic. You are wrong for not outing him to the authorities when you found out about him and your sister. But I am sorry that this is how this has played out and that your daughter is now cutting contact but to be honest that’s a tough position you put her in, to uproot her whole life to live near your fiances family or basically hardly ever see you and live with her creepy dad? You have to acknowledge that you also caused her a lot of pain and she’s probably in need of therapy from these weird family dynamics. As hurt as you are she’s probably ten times more hurt and confused. There’s probably still hope to reconcile though if you acknowledge this.