AITA for not wanting my MIL in the delivery room.
Show your support
Definitely not! My MIL is lovely but I can’t think of anything worse than having an audience. You should have whoever you’re comfortable with.
No. I wouldn't want my MIL there either. It's up to you and what makes you feel comfortable. Don't let her make you feel bad.
Please let me never be this mother 😂 you get to choose - she can wait outside, I’m sure it’ll all be forgotten once baby is here - if not, still not your problem 😂
Nope! I would not want anyone apart from husband and midwives / medical professionals there..... she is out of line for expecting this! I would not expect to be at the birth of my grandchildren and would only be there if my children and their partners would want me there / asked me to be there.
For my first my mom was there, husband ay time was deployed. The other two just my significant other. Personally I don't see why mother in laws feel entitled to even feel invited in. Just tell her she can be there until pushing and be there after you are settled and want few moment to cry and soak up the adventure with husband. I will say with you living with her she may end up getting very dramatic and if she could kick you out would that be detrimental might have to allow it if so. I've seen parents kick people out for much less.
You are not wrong at all, it's about you and your baby, and not your mother in law 🥹. If she wants to support you, she should do it on your terms. Feels quite selfish her behaviour
not at all. i only wanted my husband in there for my first child and it was great. you need to be in the best headspace and as comfortable as possible to ensure you are preparing to bring little one into the world
You’re definitely not wrong! It’s completely up to you who you have in your delivery room considering you’re the one wide open for everyone to see
No, it’s you giving birth, not an entertainment show. Ask her if she was ok with her mil watching her naked butt on all fourths screaming with pain when she was giving birth.
No. Wouldn't say you are wrong. She should respect your wishes. I understand that she would want to be in there an understand why you feel that way. But just explain to her that you don't want her to feel any type of way but just want to keep it simple with u an ur husband. Plus for future reference, nobody can bring up stuff later. Lyk someone being like well can i b in the room this time because they were in there last time or other things lyk that being brought up. (Hope that made sense)
Nope. I was considering having a doula for my first. And with how intimate our birth experience was, I was happy we decided not to. Not to say doulas are not amazing. Just I wouldn't change what we did.
Labour is not a spectator sport. Also ✨ no ✨ is a complete sentence. You don’t even have to explain yourself to her.
My own mother didn’t come in the delivery room and she wanted to. She totally understood though. You’re definitely not in the wrong. She’ll live.
It’s your body that is giving birth not your husbands. So you get to decide who gets to be there since you’ll be “exposed”. She can see baby once they’re born. I only wanted my husband there, not even my mom which im glad. I would’ve been uncomfortable with anyone else seeing my vagina lol
to connect with women at a similar stage in life.
Trusted by 5M+ women
to connect with women at a similar stage in life.
Trusted by 5M+ women
This was my exact situation when I had my daughter. Lived with MIL because we were so young. When I went into labor, it all happened very quickly. I never wanted her in the room, but she kept insisting, and I was in pain, so she just stayed. (Knowing I didn't have the willpower to give birth and fight her to get out.) Still upset about it to this day, and my own mother was hurt by it because she didn't make it in time. It's good to set the boundary beforehand.
The only person at the hospital was my husband. We had zero visitors and no one met our son until he was a week old. (Both our moms tried guilting us into letting them be there). You are not the asshole for wanting what you want.
You're not wrong! For an alternative perspective though, I had my husband, my mom, AND my MIL in the delivery room. It was super special and my MIL took amazing notes and pictures that I cherish now. She had never been invited to be at the hospital with any of her other 4 grandkids and I put myself in her shoes knowing she'd love the experience. Just because she's in there, doesn't mean she has to see you stark naked (depending on the hospital room layout). My MIL sat on the couch in the corner while I was in active labor, and only my husband was directly watching our son come out. I plan to do the same thing for the next baby.
They refused to kick anyone out when I gave birth to my daughter. My (now ex) husband, his dad, his step mom, and his step sister. It was such a horrible experience for me
You’re not wrong for your preferences. When I had my first my mother and husband were in the room with me. When I had my second my MIL was supposed to be there with us but she was unable to make it so my mom was in the room with us and my MIL came as soon as she could. I didn’t mind because the extra support and set of hands was useful and comforting. But it’s ultimately your birthing experience and you get to choose how you would like it to go.
I love my mil but im like super shy and omg I wish I would’ve stood up and said no.. it was so uncomfortable and nurses could feel I was so uncomfortable.. so if it makes you uncomfortable just stick to the ground.
You may be very close but you don’t have to be that close. She is allowed to feel hurt but you are also allowed to not want to be seen that way or whatever your reason is. It is your delivery and no one else’s. She needs to get over it, but it may not hurt to let her know why you feel that way and there is no wiggle room.
I've had 5 babies, 3 at home. My inlaws stayed with us for the birth of my 4th.. she opted to not get too involved with the actual birth. I really think that all of it is so dependent on a million personal factors.
Nope. Wouldn’t even want my own mum around never mind MIL.
I don’t think you should feel bad for saying no! I don’t want any of my family in with me but my husband… my sister keeps hinting she wants to be there… I just don’t want it… I’d happily just crawl to the corner and have the baby alone like a cat 🤣
No you are not wrong. I wanted no one except my husband with me and this included my own parents. There is already so much going on and adding more people is not beneficial to everyone. It’s ultimately you who has to go through this so you should have who makes you feel comfortable in the room