Gender disappointment
I’m having a boy and I’m not disappointed about that but rather the hyper masculine expectations of how a boy is raised by my in laws. They had 4 boys who were so horrible. Complete trouble makers until like mid 30s. Now they are telling me their genetics are strong and I’ll have to work hard to keep the kid alive (because my partner jumped out a second story window at age 2 after watching Peter Pan). I feel so scared and disappointed. I have a brother and he is a book worm who likes to cook but my dad was raised by a single mom so he’s very beta male. I know my partner doesn’t want a “sissy”. Is it possible to counter act that? Ugh
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I have a bit of the same situation too. My first is a girl and Im obsessed with being a girl mom so I was a bit disappointed to find out we’re having a boy. They’ll be 17 months apart. My husband and his brother were both small town hell-raisers (their term). While I’m scared of my husbands expectations for this little boy, I’m certain they were what they were because of the way their parents raised them. Very don’t ask, don’t tell kind of people and still are. I don’t think being bad or risky is genetic and I think it’s important to sit down with your partner and talk about expectations for parenting. I’m needing to do this myself too.
Only some things are genetic I think a lot of how a kid acts comes from how they are raised/who they are around.