Am I ungrateful or is he not doing enough?

I’m really starting to hate my partner for many reasons. My partner is 40 and I am 27. He has 3 kids from a previous marriage. We just had our first child together and is 10 months old. My partner works and I am the SAHM. My partner works M-F 8am-6pm. I’m very grateful that I get to stay at home with my son and am able to raise him. But I feel like a single mom all the time. Between working so much his kids come and spend the night 3 days a week! It’s really annoying because He doesn’t have a set schedule with them. And one day he will just say “hey the kids are staying for the next 3 days” it’s so annoying because I have no time to prepare. I clean the house, I cook, I raise our son basically alone because he works. I need a break! When his kids come over he doesn’t take care of our son! He has no time for me or our son because of his busy schedule but suddenly he has all the time and energy when it comes to them. I have asked him why he doesn’t make an effort for me because I’m his partner and I deserve to be treated atleast to a certain extent. His excuse is “I have no time for you I’m sorry I’m busy with the kids” but he expects me to do all the housewife duties with no emotions in return. And btw he doesn’t ever clean up after his kids when they come over. I’m the one stuck cleaning . He says I’m ungrateful because I ask for his time and attention. He says that he pays the rent and that I should be happy. I only want his love and I want to be appreciated. I feel like a slave and I’m raising our son on my own because he’s busy raising other kids.

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Communicate have u expressed this to him xx

Yes he calls me selfish and ungrateful

Honestly, value yourself enough to leave. He has shown you who he is and where his priorities lie. He literally said he doesn't have time for you and that you are selfish and ungrateful for wanting to spend time together. Leave this prick, take your son, and get somewhere safe. I guarantee you'll be happier without his arse than you are with it.

No judgement but when you first met him you knew he had kids and that’s a big thing because you knew he was going to spend time with he’s kids what makes you think things will change I understand he needs to spend time with your kid as well I don’t know the ages of he’s kids but try to put all the kids to play together and interact with each other that might make things easier for you. If he doesn’t help you with the cleaning do what you can do but don’t try to do everything all the time because you are the one who are the end of the day ends exhausted right now I am on leave but returning back to work soon and trust me I know being at home it’s more exhausting than working so I do admire you because you are raising other kids who are not yours but if you don’t clean your leaving room for one day the world is not going to end. Have time for yourself and if he doesn’t like the house dirty he will end up cleaning it trust me I do that sometimes

Hey girl can you give him set times in the evening that you're going to leave the house and be alone? I wonder if this boundary might be a good starting point for you. I had a hard time with this when my daughter was little because I was always taking care of her, working nights, coming home to barely sleep and he worked M-F long days too. I get you girl but you got more kids to manage.. instead of harboring these bad feelings towards him and being stuck in the house with him and kids where you're overwhelmed, underappreciated, misunderstood, etc.. tell him he is in charge of bedtime for ALL of the kids 1-2 evenings a week. He'll be fine. He is a dad and this is part of his job as a dad. If he tries to make you feel guilty, I don't know what to say but ignore it because, they do that because it's "so hard" to take care of kids without Mom. Not only can you take your break in the evening to reset, come back after the kids are asleep, but also he can gain a different perspective by doing bedtime by himself

hes showing you why his ex left him with 3 kids love im sorry xoxo

you are not ungrateful for asking for such small things. you are a woman u just created life you arent being unreasonable at all. he is an asshole and he will never change. leave him & he will go find a new girl to have another baby with and slave her to death with the chores & baby. i did this. dont be her. leave while ur babys still young 💕

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