Rant needed

Sorry for long post So I need to rant which isn’t usually like me however it’s getting ridiculous and I want to know I’m not the only one going through it. My partner is constantly on his phone, ignores my LO even when she brings him a book or toy, I tell him to just watch her whilst I do something (for example putting freezer shop away) and he’s still on his phone. If she falls he waits and if I come in he goes straight to her making out he wasn’t on his phone but I know he is. I barely see him as he’s at work and he goes on his pc in another room and then expects me to want to do anything sexual when we go to bed yet I’m exhausted from cooking, cleaning, sorting LO, sorting our pets out. Then complains when I don’t give him it. He sometimes sits in same room as me but falls asleep on sofa on his phone with his earphones in. Idk how much more of this I can take before losing my shit 🤦‍♀️ Please tell me I’m not alone 🥹

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You're not alone, my partner was the same. Sat scrolling through Facebook whilst Isabelle tried to play with him, would take toys if she offered it to him but didn't even look up or acknowledge she was there, and I could see the confusion on her face like why isn't daddy answering my toy phone or colouring in with me. So I kicked him out, told him I felt like a single parent so may as well be. He sofa surfed for a week before he begged to come home and promised he'd change and tbf to him he has really bucked his ideas up, spends more time with her and started helping more round the house. I was on maternity until January so he just kind of expected me to do everything, but now I'm back in work full time, work longer hours than him and he was still expecting me to do everything. He's still not done a single bedtime routine though 🙄

@Leonie that’s the problem he changes for a few months if I’m lucky but sometimes a few days or weeks and then reverts back

How old is your LO? I'd just point out these are her formative years, she's curious and learning and wants to engage with everyone around her. Does he really want his daughters confidence and personality to be effected by his lack of engagement? Have a really frank and open conversation about how it will effect her and you too. We have a rule now, no phones until she's in bed asleep then we can have as much phone time as we want, we've both been at work all day so there's only really an hour or two before it's her bedtime anyway so I get home and we have cuddles and playtime whilst one of us makes dinner. Then after dinner it's bath and bed. He needs to understand and realise the importance of his role in her life at this age

@Leonie I struggle due to previous relationships to openly talk about things I’ve always been one to put up and shut up. LO is 18months, I don’t work and he does he messages all day and if I don’t respond he calls me. He’s also been making sly comments about our new neighbour and other lads (I.e why don’t I go move in with him or if he’s out and my mum has LO he says now don’t be having lads round) after he says I’m joking

My husband was/is the same way. My LO is about to turn 2 and he enjoys play time with her now that she’s more mobile and can play more. We’ve had lots of talks and he’s getting better. Sitting on his phone after he gets off work is like a decompress time for him which I totally understand so I don’t say anything for a little while but if he sits on it too long, I’ll call him out and make comments about being on his phone and he’ll stop because he knows he’s bad with it but having a talk and just calling him out, he’s been doing much better

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