Marriage sucks(not for all ppl but for a lot)

I really don’t see my marriage working out. We have been together for almost 5 years and it’s basically sucked since it started. I just really don’t want a divorced home for my family but I know that’s my future at this point. I don’t know when it will happen, but it will. That, or infidelity will occur. By one of us. We have a few good days and it’s like he just slinks back into his old ways. My husband is obsessed with One Piece Card Tournaments. He’s obsessed with having fun for HIMSELF since he works…but he’d be working the same hours and all that even if we didn’t exist. I want a family man who wants to spend quality time with his family when he can. His bday is coming up and he took a few days off. At first we were supposed to be going to a hotel in NJ that we have been to before and really enjoyed…but then he decided he’d rather play one piece card tournaments every day of those days off that he can. There’s so much more to our marriage than this, and I’m just looking to vent about how shitty life is being a married woman for me. I wouldn’t recommended marriage to literally anyone. It benefits the man, benefits the patriarchy, and takes away so much from the woman. Literally, what does it do for a woman? Other than get trapped?

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Idk but I’m going through a similar situation with video games 😔 sending love. I personally think it’s important to stick with it for the kid(s) and for hoping it could improve. Best of luck

@Kelly that’s what I’ve been trying to do but it’s really hard

Feel free to message me and vent whenever 💕 I totally get where you’re coming from

Marriage is a challenge because both people have to be willing to do the work. It requires constructive communication, compromises on both sides and working together. Many couples seek counseling for these issues. I'm glad my husband and I did because even individual counseling helps you mature emotionally. We are in a better place almost 12 years into our relationship. Much better than we were at the first 5, the struggle was still very real back then. I wouldn't say women are trapped, but we do experience a not so equal responsibility in relationships. They might say they have no expectations, but if they don't do their part... What is it, if not an expectation that the woman will just do it all? Men can truly be different creatures sometimes. You feel he doesn't want to spend time with you and the family. I would just let him know this is what you see and this is how you feel. Not in a "blame game" sort of way. The idea is to express your thoughts and feelings without him going on the defense.

that sounds really tough, i’m sorry you’re experiencing this. i think your kids should see you happy, well-loved and with a man who cares about spending time with you all. just because you started something with someone doesn’t mean you have to subject yourself to misery for the rest of your life. hoping you find clarity and courage ❤️

@Skyla I did let him know this. I always communicate my feelings, and it goes over his head, through one ear and out the other. He has a hard time dealing with things head on, he’s rather ignore the problem and our love crumble apart.

@Morgan thank you for your kind words. You’re definitely right and my son is 4.5 so he’s old enough to see things for how they are. We don’t scream and fight in front of the kids but I was upset with my husband earlier and my son said to him “I’m mad at you because you made mommy sad” and that kinda broke my heart to hear but also warmed it because my son is so sweet for me. My husband even said “I’m considering letting you get a boyfriend so I can focus on one piece but you can still get your romance from someone” like WHAT

your son sounds sweet. 🥰 and that boyfriend comment sounds like he’s making his exit plan! he wants you to have a boyfriend so that way when he’s ready to break up, he can blame it on you. me personally, i’d start making my own plans and not let him know about it.

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