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@GMF that is a great lesson for them. I told my sons that and they were very understanding and said it’s ok they will go to the first one. But I’m still on the fence. Either way a child will be disappointed but the first child has lots of classmates going whereas the second child won’t. Also the second child being their best friend who has been to ALL of their birthdays over the past 3 years. I’m really stuck and don’t know what to do
I wouldn’t cancel either. You word it as having a prior commitment on that day - up to you whether you say what that is or not. It’s a shame but it is what it is.
I probably wouldn't cancel and ask the mom of the best friend if we can set up a birthday celebration just us a different time because of already rsvping to the other party
If the parties are not far from each other, I would try to be in both. Get very early to the one you already RSVP and then leave after 1hr to get to the other one. If this is viable would depend on how long are the party slots. If it is the standard 2 hrs it is tight. Otherwise, I would do what Kylie suggested above.
@𝔾𝕚𝕤𝕖𝕝𝕝𝕖 they are COMPLETELY different locations so no chance of that, also, they are both party packages at venues so no chance of leaving early as entertainment will be missed. Both parents have booked a package/certain amount of kids. The first child has invited quite a lot of classmates so will definitely have friends there, the second child probably won’t have as many as the classmates will be at the first. The mother of the child who is my sons best friend has said he will be sooo happy for just my sons to be there atleast, as they are all he wants. I am so torn right now, I don’t want to cancel but don’t want their best friend to be upset on the day either. It’s easy to arrange a play date with him another day but they haven’t really been to a birthday party of his before so this is a special occasion
Right. I thought these two children wouldn't even know each other. If they belong to the same class, why did the second mum choose a date on the same day and time as someone else's birthday party? She is forcing some classmates to pick sides and cancel... not nice.
@𝔾𝕚𝕤𝕖𝕝𝕝𝕖 they are all in the same class, but the second mum wasn’t aware of the first child’s birthday as her son wasn’t invited. It was me that mentioned to her that my sons have been invited to a classmates party that same day. She did tell me she understands if we can’t make it, but at that time I kind of agreed we would be there as my sons were adamant they wanted to go as he’s their best friend. I haven’t met the mum of the first child before, I know my sons are friends with him but not extremely close. I easily would have chosen their best friends party but as it’s less than a week away to cancel feels so rude of me too
Well... you already said yes to both and you don't seem to like the advice of going to the one you RSVPd first. Your decision is made and you want a way out of the first. At this point I wouldn't miss one party without compensating for it. My decision would depend on other things that may not apply to you. But since you are keen on canceling the first, I would be doing it ASAP and would also be sending a proper present before the party.
Tough situation. Since it sounds like you really want to go to the second party: “Hi! I just found out ___ is having a birthday party at the same time as ___. We already RSVPd to your party, so I want honor that and if you’ve already paid by the head, your party would be the priority. However ___ and ___ are close and I feel so awful imagining very few kids coming to his party. If it isn’t too late to change your headcount, can I change my RSVP to no for my 2 boys? Again, if it’s too late to change, we definitely want to come and celebrate ___. I’m so sorry to be messaging so late, I’m quite frustrated that I’m just now finding out about this party.” The second party mom shouldn’t be guilting you. She should be guilting herself for sending invites so late - she should be the one changing the party time.
I would not cancel. I understand why your children are disappointed but this is an opportunity to teach them that following through on your commitments is very important. Think about the message it sends to them if you allow them to cancel on someone last minute. You could plan a special play date or outing with their best friend to celebrate their birthday. It’s not the other kid’s fault that the best friend’s invite was sent out later.