AITA. My husband said I was rude

Babies are humans and people touching them randomly is inappropriate. We don’t see a nice looking bum and give it a pinch. We would get slapped. I think what you did was fine.

It’s not even just about germs imo! A stranger touching a child with no consent is not ok- idc if it was innocent or whatever- I don’t want random people touching me let alone my child! And yeah to your point- there is a whole ass pandemic going on?!! It’s a mass disabling event!! So 100% I don’t want stranger germs on my young child who isn’t fully immunized!! You are definitely not the asshole! And it sounds like your husband is tone policing so I would check him on that cuz he’s your partner he should be on your side especially when it comes to the safety of your child!

Yea he's right. Her being touchy doesn't make it right to be rude. Yes she shouldn't have touched him but that's just how that generation is. You smile and clean your baby's hands once she's out of sight. She might not have anybody and looking at your little one gave her that bit of happiness needed. It's not the end of the world. Having a touchy disabled child I wouldn't ever say anything. You don't know the person. Yes you not being happy is valid and you got the right to be annoyed but you shouldn't forget being kind to others. It happened why make her feel bad about it? Also once your baby is mobile literally anything will find its way in his mouth lol

@Lyss he said he understood why but maybe that I should have worded it differently with her being old. I don’t care how old she is age isn’t a factor the issue is her touching my son. I’m the same I don’t like being touched, I just hate how people think that it’s ok to touch a baby because they’re cute. That cuteness wears off, I mean try touching my teenager on the hand I think he’d have something to say about it. We’ve been invited out the weekend to a family members for a display and fire. I’ve said I don’t mind the fireworks but not a fan of the fire smoke around our kids, ones asthmatic then the baby, so we will be leaving early, there will be strangers there that my SIL knows and I’ve said I don’t want them touching our son and he agreed. So I don’t see the difference between them and someone in a shop. @Zainab🗝️ your right can you imagine! It’s always the saying that comes to mind you can look but don’t touch. Obvious don’t over look that makes it awkward 🤣

That’s what tone policing is- telling you that you should have said something in a different way to come off in a more sweeter way for example. You were blunt and direct- you were not mean. I see nothing with how you said it.

@Patricia I’m all for germs. He is mobile and everything does go in his mouth but I know my things get cleaned. Why should it be ok and be made to be a normal thing for someone to touch my child. What if she’s carrying something that could potentially put my child in hospital. I shouldn’t have to normalise a generation because they do things. It’s not ok. She does have family because she spoke to another couple in a different isle about how she’s having the family over the weekend. I can be kind to others, in the same time there were other people speaking to me about him and there’s was children talking to him. That’s ok, but I don’t appreciate the touching and it’s shouldn’t just be taken like it’s normal.

I certainly wouldn’t have said anything to the lady who was clearly well-meaning. If I was worried about germs I’d have just smiled and wiped baby’s hand once she’d gone…but that’s just me 🤷🏼‍♀️

This happens to me sometimes with my kids and it annoys me sooo much but I think their generation just don’t get it so for you to say “I don’t know what germs your carrying” was overboard and rude af. I mean you could have educated her nicely as she probably didn’t mean no harm. “Please don’t touch the baby, I’m not comfortable with that due to health reasons” would have been ok! I could NEVER speak to an innocent old lady like that 😭 I’d feel sooo guilty!

Could you have worded it 'nicer' yes. She she have not touched your child without consent, also YES. I wouldn't give it a second thought tbh x

I did the same thing when I was at McDonald’s waiting on my food and some random lady started touching my child. Even now she’s 10 months old and I get compliments but please do not touch my baby. My bf is the same way.

Agree with @Mou , could have worded differently as that was quite harsh but also she should ask before touching anyone's baby

I understand why you did it but I think that is rude and your husband is right. No she shouldn't have touched your baby and it wasn't necessary but I would have just smiled and cleaned with a baby wipe discreetly (although wouldn't really be that bothered)

I pressed the wrong one! You definitely weren’t rude. It’s rude and weird to touch peoples children

I’d have been ruder, don’t fuckin touch my kid and I wouldn’t have to say anything 😂

I personally don’t mind if someone touches my baby briefly saying hello or interacting I don’t think it’s a big deal I would’ve just ignored and wiped with a baby wipe discreetly 🤣

With Hispanics if someone is looking at the baby they just usually give the baby a small touch so the don't give it aojo (evil eye) I don't mind it really

So when my son was born I was told he couldn't have any of his vaccinations due to meds I was on during my pregnancy, when he was around 8 weeks old me, my partner and baby were out for a meal and an elderly lady asked me if she could "pass silver through the baby's hand" apparently it's a traditional thing to do, this lady was a complete stranger and as lovely as her gesture was I obviously rejected and simply said "I'd really appreciate if you didn't as he's not had any vaccines yet" and she was so graceful about it and was so understanding, I think as mums it's our responsibility to keep our babies safe but also think we can say things differently so we don't sound like we are being bitchy about it

Oops pushed the wrong button. I had my first in Feb 2020, and I always insisted strangers not to touch my child, and will be doing the same with this one.

She shouldn’t have touched your child but were you rude? In my opinion yes. There were a million in one ways to get your point across that wouldn’t be as curt.

I think it’s very weird for a stranger to touch a child they don’t know. Very weird, she shouldn’t have touched …. Having said that, your response to this lady “I don’t know what germs you’re carrying” was extremely rude and over the top. Something less abrasive could’ve been said and accomplished the same thing. I voted yes YATA.

You're not wrong as such (I'd never dream of touching someone else's baby) but at the same time I feel you overreacted and were rude. She was clearly not doing it to upset you, there was no malice intended, which is why I feel you didn't need to embarrass someone like that. An older lady touched my babys hand the other week as she was cooing over my baby, I honestly thought nothing of it! Kids are exposed to more germs in nursery, as well as unvaccinated kids!

Not rude. I have a big do not touch sign on my pram and even if people hover past and stop and look at him I move him very quickly. I also hold his hands myself if he's in the carrier. You are right, you don't know what germs people are carrying and just because they are older doesn't give them the right to touch your child. I would of said the same thing. Your job is to advocate and protect your child and part of that is not letting strangers touch them. 100% right.

Lol I would of did the same thing. And if that's makes me rude then so be it. My kids safety comes first before my partners. I actually had an issue with someone at target once wen my daughter was 2 a lady came so close to her face and I pushed her back and said don't get close to children u don't know it scares them and ur carrying God knows what so I've had my share of people who don't respect boundaries. I may not stick up for myself 24/7 but my kids I'll do it forever

Please don’t touch my child, sure that’s normal and I would say the same. No one should be touching peoples children but we all know that the older generation don’t see these things as issues. But “I don’t know what germs you have” and washing him in her eye sight, to me that’s very rude. Just implies that she’s like a leper or something and a bit of an overreaction.

You were both rude but only you had good reason

You were right to protect your little one. Yeah you coulda said it nicer but that’s easy to say after the fact. In the moment I would have been upset as well and probably said something similar ❤️

You’re not rude she is. Idk why ppl act entitled to babies. Especially if they try to touch or kiss your baby. Like it’s rsv season and babies get sick easily. My baby was sick as a newborn and it’s awful. Sometimes you just have to be direct even if it seems rude, you’re just protecting your baby. If you’re too friendly, sometimes people take advantage of that and don’t respect boundaries

She shouldn’t have touched him BUT. You shouldn’t have been so rude you didn’t have to say anything at all if she walked away. Just wipe him and move on. “I don’t know what germs you have “ is a very rude way to say something to someone.

I also understand why you did this but I think you just didn’t need to say anything Just go ahead and wipe your babies hands after she’s gone

Was she Mexican? She might’ve touched his hand to not give him ojo. Ojo is when u have evil eye n make kids sick looking at them so u have to touch them to prevent them from getting sick. Sounds like that’s what she was doing

Maybe just the 1st part of the sentence