Do I have to tell dad?

My LG is 3.5 years old. Me and her dad split up about 2 months after her 1st birthday. It was a nightmare, always arguing over visiting etc. He cannot be trusted to look after her properly, he wasn't able to feed/change/play with her properly and just refused advice and help so I never allowed him to have her without supervision (me or my family). His family couldn't be trusted either, with "suggestions" like dip her dummy in whiskey to help her sleep! LG was diagnosed with a medical condition when she was 19 months old, and needs round the clock care. Dad was informed but didnt come to the hospital until 2 hours after his shift as a pot wash at the pub had finished. The hospital offered training to dad, he took his time to take up on the offer, being trained 10 months after diagnosis. But he hasn't seen LG since just before her 2nd birthday (June 2023), and hasn't contacted me since March. I have reasons to believe my LG is on the spectrum and am looking at getting her tested for autism etc. Do I have to inform her dad? I don't want to contact him and bring him back into our lives if I can help it.

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Nope, if he hasn’t bothered with her now even after he knows she’s been diagnosed then your wasting his time telling him any other information as he’s simply shown you that he just doesn’t care. Sounds harsh but things coming from someone that used to update my kids dad on everything even though he’s shown me time after time that he’s just not interested in knowing

Does dad legally have any rights named on birth certificate if not you can go a head in applying for assessments etc for a diagnosis they may want ask about dad and can inform him for you if you wish him to have an input.

No I’d tell him fuck all he seems shite! That is no dad at all

@Nia he is named on birth certificate yeah, that's my worry. My parents say don't tell him anything and just go ahead with it. But I fear the Dr's etc. Will say I have to legally tell him. Do not care for his input or anything. I just don't want him back in our lives, she's thriving and I worry adding him back in will set her back.

I don’t think you have to legally tell him, I didn’t need too when my little one was hospitalised previously

@Kimberley yeah, so my little one recently had hfm and it was so bad in her mouth that she wasn't eating/drinking and needed to go to hospital. They asked about dad, and i explained the situation and they decided he didn't need to know. But I think I'm worried because the autism is potentially life changing type of thing and I wonder if it would be seen the same as if I was to move town etc.

You do not have to inform him . If you are going to inform him , inform him after the tests etc. I have my child’s dad on my daughter’s birth certificate & a solicitor advised me I do not have to inform him until after with anything medical . ( her dad has shown up drunk to medical emergencies etc ) x

@Chloe okay, thank you. That puts my mind at ease a bit. I'm sorry to hear you've had trouble with your daughter's dad. X

He’s been trouble since before we spilt . He calls it co parenting , I call it solo . I do everything & he never steps up or does anything x

I hope your situation goes well and that you get the support you need through our lovely x

*out

Does he have PR? If he don't then no you dont need to inform him. If he does, essentially yes but he can find out anyway

@Chloe aw bless, sorry to hear that. I hope it gets better for you. Thank you.

@Nicole yeah, he's on the birth certificate so has PR. Will I get in trouble if I don't tell him? X

Your welcome & it’s okay I got my daughter & she knows I got her corner at the end of the day .

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