I hate being married.
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@Kelly thank you for this. You’re absolutely right. And after 16 years I do know that feeling of “being in love” fades. But I guess I mean in a way where he’s not my best friend, the foundation of our love/friendship is not deep enough to withstand the monotony. I started therapy last week for the first time ever in my life. I’m 41. I feel like I should have done so long ago. Maybe I wouldn’t be in this position.
It's good you got therapy, it might not all be lost. My situation is different so feel free to ignore it but I just wanna say I am only married 2y but fell out of love shortly after getting married because something he did. Thought I'd never be able to feel romantic about him anymore but therapy, both individual and couples, helped us reconnect and now I'm back in love! Maybe you'll be able to discover a new side to him if you open up and tell him how you feel I'm therapy ❤️
Maybe a marriage retreat or something to help get the spark back? Good on you for starting therapy! I hope things look brighter for you soon❤
I’m curious what is it that you can’t stand about being married. You need sex or you think he’s annoying like what is it? I love my husband so much but I haven’t had any sexual desire in 4 years since having kids, I have to force it any time I do give it up bc I feel bad, he has needs. But we have had 3 now and every time I get pregnant it messes my hormones up even more. I would not get too comfortable with this dreadful feeling if you’ve only just had kids in the past year or 2 bc that is completely normal. It takes at least 2 years for your hormones to return to normal and what you’re feeling is super common, most couples go through a roommate phase after having kids. It’s really common to not have a drive after having kids, I lose my drive during pregnancy and it hasn’t come back bc I have never been not pregnant for more than a year before getting pregnant again. Message me if you wanna talk I could use someone who can relate and maybe give advice :)♥️
@Anna thank you so much. My husband is anti-therapy. He relies on his relationship with God. Which, I’m a believer and I respect that, but also God gave humans the intelligence to be able to guide us through our trials. Better I go as an individual first. I am trying. I appreciate your kind words.
@Amanda Brown I feel what makes me hate being married is I feel like I’m trapped. We just move through life very differently, it’s hard to ever compromise and meet each other in the middle. It just feels like complete incompatibility. But, I know that’s not completely true otherwise I would not have had his kids or stayed for 16 years. Sadly, my mother is also dying from pancreatic cancer, so that is exacerbating every day lulls. Thank you for your encouragement. I am just feeling really down and want things to get better.
There are biblical based and church hosted marriage seminars and retreats. It might be worth asking your pastor or looking online to see if there is one your husband might be willing to attend with you.
@Susie I love this testimony!!! You give me hope.
@Anna this never happened crossed my mind as an option. Thank you. 🙏🏾
It’s a phase, and you’ve got a lot going on. I hope you feel better just give yourself some time
@Amanda Brown thank you! Literally crying reading all of this encouragement. I was afraid I’d be met with negativity. I needed these interactions.
Hi! I’m sorry you feel this way. No one can tell you whether or not to stay married. I just wanted to refer to the term “being in love.” Which only lasts the first few years of marriage and many people get divorced because they don’t feel “butterflies in their stomach” anymore or their heart doesn’t beat when they receive that call from their spouse etc. If a person wanted to feel that as a constant in their life, they would have to change partners every couple of years. The best thing you can do is seek therapy and talk about it even from your home on the internet. You can look for a therapist or even a coach etc. to get started and find your well-being.