Postpartum Intimacy.

I am 11 weeks postpartum, had an unplanned csection with my son and generally am feeling really good. My partner and I have been intimate a handful of times since our LO arrived and things have felt different for me, but not necessarily in a bad way, just different. I still very much want to and enjoy being intimate with my partner. Before baby we were very much intimate in one way or another 4-5 times a week, post baby maybe lucky 1 time per week. I miss my partner. He has expressed that he misses me. More, he has expressed that he desires for me to be the one to initiate things between us more often. I’m struggling to find a balance between baby, house and life and my relationship. I so desperately want to have the time we used to have to be together and I know it’s normal for things to be different after baby but I’m at a loss as to how to get back into the swing of things a little more frequently so that both our needs are met. I don’t feel like he is being selfish in expressing his desires and I don’t believe is unreasonable for him to be feeling like there is a lack of intimacy currently between us. One of the sticking points in my previous relationship was that there wasn’t enough intimacy (this was just one of many problems in that relationship) so I am genuinely terrified that if we don’t figure this out the same thing will happen… (I know deep down my current relationship is very healthy and nothing like my last one but I’m a little traumatized by my previous situation I think).. any advice? Is this just something that we both need to accept and eventually things will come easier for us again?
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I think you need to be honest with your partner about how you feel because of the last relationship just so that eases the burden a bit for you and he can reassure you. This could help take the pressure off temporarily. Secondly, during postpartum there are so many hormones surging through you, it takes a while for your body to recalibrate, which is something out of your control but also might make you not feel like you want to be intimate as often. That combined with breastfeeding (if you are), lack of sleep, and learning about your baby, and how to be a Mum can put intimacy on the back burner. Once you feel like more of routine is established with the baby & more reassured about your concerns you may feel less pressure and like you have more energy and desire to initiate it!

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