Dilemma...

My 3 years old son is often asking for his dad. I have full custody and a DV restraining order until June 25. I left California with my son and we lived abroad for 2 years. More than 5000 miles away. My ex is still living in California with his mexican family and at this time I'm in Mexico city with my son until the end of the month. My dilemma is : Should I, just for my son, contact his dad so they could spend some time together in public places (I'll be there...) Should I wait the end of restraining order to allow any contact? Knowing that my son is constantly asking for his dad and keeping a pic of them together. Also because of my son age and where we live, contact with his dad would be by video phone call, at the best... For the next few years... And because of my job I won't return on this continent for the next 3 years. At least. 😫 So conflicted 🤕🙃

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I’m not sure how the laws work in Mexico, but if he is not violent to your son, he still has right to see him. Both parents are important in a child’s life. I think you can ask supervised parental time for his visit, so you don’t have to be there. Sorry about the whole situation.

Talk to a lawyer first to know your options with the restraining order. Maybe a mediation session with you and your ex before the video to go over things you don't want discussed with the child or to open the discussion between adults first before adding the child into. As long as Dad isn't verbal or violent to the child and if he wants to communicate with his Son then a video call can't hurt as long as there are rules to make you all feel safe! Children do need both parents as long as the relationship is healthy!

Thank you both for your input. The thing is I have no time to request mediation services as I'm in Mexico just for a month. So the idea is to contact his dad right now and see if he could free himself a few days to come down here and see his son. He wasn't violent with our son. And Im pretty confident we can have a cordial exchange if he visit us here for a few days... But I know that by law, with this restraining order, we re not supposed to do that.

If it violates the order don’t, it’s hard but that will be you breathing the court order and not him and he can use that against you next time in court

He did send me a message once. And tried to talk to me by calling me with another number. So I can't prove that it was him... Yes, it is hard to not contact him. My son is so often talking about him. It's obvious he needs contact with his dad. But indeed, like you said, if I contact his dad in order to set up a meeting, this will probably be used against me in court. Even though I doubt it will be easy for his dad to get custody and visitations order by US court, as we live in different countries.