Am I wrong for being upset?
I never know if I’m in the wrong and if I’m being overly emotional. But my boyfriend decided that he’s going to take a weekend trip 8 hours up north to go snowboarding. Originally, he was going to take me and our 17 month old with him and I was going to be able to relax in a nice hotel room & possibly go to the spa while he went snowboarding. Now it’s turned into him going alone with a few of his friends who I do not know. He’s saying that he won’t be able to afford to take us with him and he’s going to be able to split an air bnb with his friends so it’ll be cheaper. I’m upset because we rarely travel and even though I didn’t even want to go on a snowboarding trip it sucks that I can’t go anywhere. He works 12 hour shifts Monday-Friday so I’m stuck taking care of our baby alone during the week and I’m the one who cares for the baby at night because we cosleep and the baby is breastfed on demand at night. So now, the only two days he has out of the week to give me relief from the baby, he’s choosing to take a trip where he’s going to have a ton of fun and leave me alone in the trenches with the baby. We don’t have family who help with the baby and it’s constantly me alone with him while my boyfriend works. I’ve quite literally never had a break from the baby beside this last weekend—I was over stimulated and cranky so my bf took him to the grocery store with him so I could clean our disaster of a bedroom in peace without the baby destoying my progress.
We had an argument about it and I told him that I feel like he’s being selfish. I’ve sacrificed everything for the baby, including working/money and the freedom to be able to take trips whenever I want and he hasn’t sacrificed nearly as much. He knows that him leaving will make things hard for me. He know leaving will mean I will have 12 consecutive days of no relief from the baby and he said “sorry” & looked guilty but he’s still going anyways.
It makes me hate and resent him so much. I wish I could be happy for him to be able to take a trip that’s going to make him happy but it’s quite the opposite. I wish I chose a person to have kids with who understands solidarity.
Anyways, how would you feel in my position and what would you do?
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He’s actually only going to be gone Friday-Sunday but I say 12 consecutive days because the weekdays before and after the trip I will be home alone with the baby while he works. The weekend is when I have him as a coparent
You’re not wrong for feeling this way. It’s clear you also need to take some time for yourself too & I think then you wouldn’t feel so resentful/ jealous. It’s hard as a mum, we sacrifice so much more than dads. But he needs a break too, he works a lot of hours. Work out some time before & after his trip for yourself. I know it’s hard when you breastfeed, but a few hours here and there will make a big difference 🤞🏻
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You’re not wrong for how you feel. It’s very selfish to leave for 12 days, a weekend is understandable but even then it was originally supposed to be you as a family. Even if his friends were going idk why you wouldn’t be able to come. My husband would never do this but if he ever tried it, I’d make it clear that we’re all going or staying home. Esp since he brought up affordability, he should stay home and save then because that trip will be expensive regardless of splitting an Airbnb.