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@Lena exactly this!
@Lena thank you for being honest!! I’m definitely going to try the when baby #2 is napping, spend one on one time with my first, I don’t want him to feel pushed to the side if yk what I mean. I really hope I don’t get ppd this time, it was so hard and bad with my first. My husband works Monday-Friday 8-5, so once babies are both in bed will definitely be time for us. And when he’s home on his hour lunch break, that’ll be my me time, at least until I’m comfortable leaving baby alone
I had 2u2 (my first was 14m when baby arrived) these are some of my tips I like to share - I had just managed to get my 1st in a routine & sleeping through the night and this helped so much - Showing 1st gentle with stuffed toys/dolls etc. - Safe play space (sectioned part of room off with a baby gate, there was a mellow mat and we had toy/book rotation everyday to avoid boredom). I’d feed baby in the play space with my 1st and while he was independent and liked playing on his own he’d often come over and pat babies head or show him toys, try talk to him so they could get used to each other and nobody felt left out. - I’d Spend time 1 on 1 with 1st and with both. And tried to get 1st involved around baby as much as possible. - baby backpack gift - they might be too young to understand what it’s about but basically you fill a backpack with some activities, toys, things your 1st likes, maybe some little snacks, I included a little note from baby and a little brothers photo album
Cont.. The general idea is so that your 1st doesn’t feel left out/overwhelmed/jealous with all the new things happening and attention that babies need/get. And it helps keep them occupied when you need to attend baby. - I also bulk prepped meals, easy reheat meals & snacks or things like slow cooker dump meals/lasagna/etc. I did this to cover at least the first two weeks. - meal prepping in general - created a month or so of meals to make after those 2wks so I didn’t have to deal with a newborn, my toddler and all the overwhelm and fog that comes with it - just took some extra pressure off instead of thinking on the day like wtf am I going to cook today? How am I going to find time etc.
And lastly: make sure you look after you, have easy hand held snacks esp if breastfeeding - I used to have granola/muesli bars or something similar and lots of water every where and anywhere I was going to be breastfeeding. Get rest when you can, and if you can give yourself 30-60mins a day to do something for yourself (whether it’s a shower or bath, reading a book, listening to a podcast whatever it is that you like!). I found it just helped to keep me a little sane. It is absolutely chaos at times, you’ll feel guilty about a lot. But watching them grow together, the bond they have is so amazing. My 2 will be 3 in April and 2 in June, they will also have a baby sister next month so interesting to see how that goes 🤣
Big congrats!! My boys have similar age gap. My youngest is 5 months today. My second pregnancy was much more tiring due to 2 pregnancies close together but also have a toddler to keep up with. After giving birth, it was tough to manage a newborn and toddler, but what really helped was getting my toddler acclimated to my husband being primary for his nap time, bedtime, baths, etc so he doesn’t throw a tantrum when mom can’t do it. It gets better with time though! Once we found our rhythm, it was so amazing. My toddler loves to help out with everything and loves to be around his baby brother. Warms my heart. Best of luck and congrats again!!
I have 5 under 5 2 under 2! It's definitely all the above!
Expect absolute chaos.... A dirty messy house......No routine at least at first.... Feeling guilty for spending time focusing on #1 because it's not focused on #2..... And then an equal amount of guilt for spending time focusing on #2 because it's not on #1..... Feeling totally lost and like you are failing.... Wondering how you will cope And also the most love you could ever imagine! Your heart will feel like bursting when you see them together and how they interact..... You will be so proud of them and how close they are already..... When they smile at each other you will think you could die happy right there and then..... You will smile imagining them in 2 yrs, 5 yrs, 20 yrs...... My advice is to try to carve out "me" time and also "us" time with your partner. To me that's definitely the hardest not the actual parenting (mine are 19 mths apart)