Has anyone stayed after infidelity and are in a better place now?
Feeling really stuck and unsure of what to do. I’ve been with my partner for almost 8 years and we have an almost 3 year old together. He had an emotional affair with someone from a different country 4 months after i had our child. This went on and off for about 8 months he said. He also asked 2 other friends of his that are girls for nudes/to hook up (never happened though). Long story short he blocked all girls and we’ve been working things out. It’s been rocky but im trying my hardest to make it work. He shows through his actions more than words that hes changing. He always takes accountability and responsibility especially when i have triggers and remember everything thats happened and bring it up. He gives me space to process and also recognizes his faults and he lets me check his phone whenever i need to. He gives me reassurance when i need it and i can tell hes trying to change the past couple of years. He also really stepped it up with our child after not doing shit for almost the entire time. Things are well between us 2 years later after everything but i still get sad thinking about the betrayal. I don’t know if i should just heal, start fresh with someone else, or stay and work things out with my partner. Sometimes i feel like ill always think about his affairs and will never have peace. But i cant imagine myself with anyone else. I don’t have the courage and strength to leave even though i really want to leave sometimes. I just want to stop hurting and stop letting this all consume me. Has anyone ever gone through something similar? Did you stay? Are you guys happy now? Does it ever get better? Is it possible to stay with someone after infidelity and find peace in the relationship?
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But if you decide to leave, don’t be afraid because you can get through anything and look back and be like why did I wait too long to change that?! Everyone has their own journey and you have to decide what is best for YOU and your family. U got this.
It was so hard for me to let go at first. It got easier though. But then things changed and I ended up going back to him. Every situation is different.
We also agreed to tell no lies and we either were going to go forward and leave the past behind us or we weren’t. We did it and it is going better than I had anticipated. We just keep rebuilding trust.
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I have! Well I left but I came back. It takes time to trust again but trust your gut. I never thought I’d be able to trust him or possibly even stay and be as happy as we are now. Have you considered therapy? I went after the breakup and it’s very useful. We are in the best place ever now and it’s just up to you to decide if you can move forward or not. We agreed to leave the past behind us and since I revenge hooked up we both agreed to not bring up the past. Totally wipe the slate clean. He proved to me now that he’s doing right by me and it is not necessarily true when people say once a cheat always a cheat. We aren’t in the same place we were when the cheating was going on and we have a son now so all I can say is trust your gut, don’t settle, and if you can’t imagine being with anybody else then you have no choice but try and work through it. Although, you do have the strength to leave. You’re just not ready or you’re scared.