I'm terrified. Healthy relationship after hurt.
I am really just needing to vent and support. I have no one else to talk to about this.
No one tells you how hard a healthy relationship is after being so hurt. It is honestly terrifying. I was in an emotionally abusive marriage for years. I was separated and divorced two years ago and have two amazing kids. Spent a long time in therapy and felt ready to get back out there. Fast forward, I am dating someone who is a great communicator and just all-around amazing to me... treats me well and tells me all the time how he enjoys me and enjoys being with me. He compliments me often and just makes me feel so special (not in a creepy red flag way). He is by far the best man I have ever been with. Great dad and just attentive, empathetic, and affectionate.
This is so hard for me... some days, i wonder if I actually deserve it. The more I feel for him, the more terrified I am.
Has anyone experienced this?
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@Philomena, thank you so much for this. Choosing love over fear is exactly where I am right now, which is so hard. Self-love is definitely something I have worked on for years. The next step is letting someone else love you....
Of course! I’m glad I could let you know you’re not alone, and just like all the other work you’ve done, one day you’ll realize it just feels natural to receive love now. Then again there’s always another lesson somewhere and it’s always gonna be the same choice! 💕✨
Yes this is *unfortunately* normal. But one day it will feel so normal for you 🤍🫶🏽
Great, marry that guy!
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Yeah, I think this is the root reason that people like to say you can’t love until you fully love yourself. Which a lot of people don’t like because you CAN love, anyone has the ability to, BUT for people who haven’t been familiar with healthy love and are still learning what it means to love themselves, actual love can feel so unfamiliar it almost feels unsafe or that we’re unworthy or will somehow fuck it up/self sabotage. I have been through many stages of this throughout my healthy relationship and it’s usually always another level of choosing love over fear every time and being able to open myself up to receiving even more and actually allowing myself to feel worthy and embrace it. It’s just takes time and consistency and returning any loving practices towards yourself that you’ve picked up along your healing journey.