Birth without partner

Hello, I’m due my second baby in two months time and I’m pondering the idea of giving birth alone in the room, with my husband at home. This is both because we may not have anybody looking after our first one, and then because we’re currently not in a good relationship point. A part of me feels like that’s the best way for me to enjoy the process, and there’s another part of me that wants to share that moment with the dad. Leaving my relationship with my husband aside, as I said we may not have another choice other than taking our first one at the hospital and them waiting outside the room, which anyway would mean that I’ll be left alone. I was wondering if anybody else had given birth alone and if you’d be happy to share that story. TIA

Show your support

I’m so sorry to hear this. You can still make it a very special and magical moment even being by yourself. I’m so sorry you may not have childcare, do you have any close friends that you trust? Or family members? I know that’s not an option for everyone 🥲🤍 I hope you manage to get sorted either way & good luck!!! Xxx

Have you spoken to the trust ? Special circumstances children are allowed especially if birthing in a birth centre

@Sarah unfortunately we’re alone here so nobody can look after our son during the night if it was to happen at night time xx there’s dad’s brother but he often works night shift and working in a care job I’m not sure they’d allow him to come back home…

@Aimee I haven’t! Didn’t know it was a possibility! I mean, I wouldn’t probably want my son to see me giving birth tbh. I also can’t give birth in a birthing centre due to potential complications during birth, safest option for me and baby is the hospital unfortunately xx but I will ask about this to the midwife and see if there’s stuff that can be done to have the dad next to baby and me with our son xx thank you 🙏🏼

Have you considered hiring a doula?

@Kat yes, but I checked the prices and it’s not affordable ☹️ it would’ve been so nice though. I would’ve loved the experience..

I birthed my first child on my own but a very different situation - was still beautiful though! Happy to chat on messages if you need any advice or support xx

Where we live we don’t have family - and that’s a good thing. But because that was the case, my husband had to take care of our first while I had our second child on my own. I was honestly so focused on birthing the second child that the less than ideal circumstance of being on my own slipped past me and I was not upset at all. Because things are not going well between you and your partner, I would give him options as to how HE wants to handle it, but ultimately put the onus on HIM to decide … because if you decide what he does, then he can use it against you. If you decide to hire someone to help so he can be there during the birth, then he could blame financial hardship/stress on you. If you decide to have him stay with your first born, then he can blame you missing out on the second birth on you. When I started making my husband decide things his attitude, forward-thinking strategies, and sense of accountability changed for the better. We are def happier now more than ever.

@Karen thank you for this. I’ll definitely let him choose as it’s his son anyway. We will see how it goes! I was just thinking we had thought of every scenario other than giving birth at night, which is a bit more problematic to sort. We were advised to get a nanny as some of them offer to be on call for when baby is born, but they may still have something to do - life is never predictable... I want to have it all in my mind that all will go well even if I was alone. Did your husband and your firstborn come to visit both of you right after?

I had the second baby at 2:56AM, so my husband and first born visited me later that day after my first child’s nap.