Deleting messages

First of all, is it family members? Or other women? Either way it is not ideal for your marriage. Maybe ask him how would he feel if this was you doing it to him? X

Many people delete messages, but usually the text thread if that’s something they do. Do you check his phone? Idk why he’d need to delete it anyway

@Emma Cotterell its family members. Like for example he would send videos of my daughter to them with me or my family in the background and he knows I have a problem with that (once my boob was almost on show) So instead of being careful about what he’s sending, he now sends videos and deleted it off his phone. The only reason I know It was sent it because I can see their reaction from them. If I asked him how he would feel, it would go two ways. Either he’d make a joke and say he wouldnt care, or hed show understanding for two seconds and then carry on again after a few months

Hmmm maybe try and sit down and talk calmly with each other for an agreement of what he can send to family and friends without you being uncomfortable? X

He know I overthink a lot, have had really bad anxiety and these secrets, hiding and lying is what makes it worse. He clearly just doesn’t care. He knows me and his sister have issues with each other, he wants me to beg it with her while she doesnt even message to see how her own niece is doing.

@Emma Cotterell I have done that 😭 he does it again and again and just apologises every time. Its not just the videos. I’m stuck between trying to make myself understand that his convos with his sister is none of my business but also anxious that what could they be saying that he felt the need to delete the messages. (I have seen a message on his phone a while back telling his sister that he would go to the end of the world for her but “just don’t tell my wife”. That sickened me.

@Monét yh, we have access to each others phone, he goes on mine out of boredom and I go on his. I just feel so angry because I have nothing to hide, I don’t talk bad about him to any friends or family and I don’t have a need to delete texts, why does he?

Does he have iPhone? You can check deleted messages see what he’s hiding x

@Jadie yeah he does, how do you do that?

On the message screen it will say filters, click that

Then it shows recently deleted x

They stay there for 40days unless he’s actually gone on there and deleted them you can also recover the messages so you can go back to the actual chats and re read them as they were before he deleted them x

Oh wow, I had no idea you could do that

@Jadie Is there any way to do it to whatsapp messages

I’m not too sure about WhatsApp, maybe his chats are backed up in his iCloud maybe they can be recovered from that x