Is this excessive?
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Depends. Have you seen her and how mobile she is? Could be she has no use of one arm and the use of the other may be agonising? I had major abdominal surgery at 23 my mum took care of me even spoon-fed me I was so weak. But I was in hospital for 3 days and I could barely walk for 3 weeks. Couldn't even stand up straight and it was horrible to go up or down stairs. Still after the 3 days in hospital I was left alone for 2-4hours 😅
Maybe she’s just feeling really down and needs company? When I’ve had procedures as a young adult it was hard mentally. Or maybe the Ex has guilt tripped your bf into feeling he needs to be there
Yeah she’s an adult or whatever but idc if I’m alive and my child is 80 I’m going to be there unless told not to be 🤷♀️ like others have said there may be other circumstances like mobility, medications, mental state or even the mom could be worried about it bc she couldn’t be there. Unless there’s other instances or further details, I wouldn’t say there was malicious intent by any party.
I’d definitely take care of my child too. That’s not what I mean. Even my adult child is have come home after surgery. I was curious if not leaving her alone EVER. Even an hour she gets a ‘babysitter’. I saw her. She is mobile. Can take a shower on her own. Use the washroom. Getting physio on it. She is wanting to go back to her home as soon as possible. My ex said he thinks she is being excessive as well. But he’s respectful and just goes alone with everything. It’s more I was thinking like am I an ahole lol. I’d make sure my kid had everything and was situated. Throw in a movie and still run out for an hour.
My mom has had two shoulder surgeries. Apparently they’re really painful. Idk. I would probably do the same for my kids 🤷🏼♀️
@Brittany I would definitely care for my kids as well. No matter the age. BUT I would run out for an hour. I’d make sure anything they needed help with was good. Get them to put on a movie and be back before it’s done. I was just surprised by it. Sort of, they have also never taken public transit as they were told it’s dangerous and get drives everywhere or they don’t go.
@courtney so you would give them the 24 hour care as well? I mean never run out to grab something unless you got a babysitter so they weren’t alone? I’d be helping my kid at any age too. But I wouldn’t be getting a 20 year old a babysitter that could do things.
It would depend on a couple things. Both our anxiety levels, whether or not it was their first surgery, if they wanted someone with them, if they had any previous or current health concerns, and so on. Ngl I could totally see myself being anxious enough to want them to have round the clock care or at least someone within the home/shouting distance. My middle is getting tonsils out next month and even with my meds, I’m more anxious than she is yet our oldest went through it too BUT she was older and we lived closer to a hospital in a better area. Oldest didn’t have as many risks or as severe symptoms. I was a nervous wreck then too but the added things still has me a wreck again.
@courtney If problems I get that. This no issues. She lives away from home for school. She needs help washing her hair, getting dressed and changing her sling. Which each is only a couple times a day. Morn and night. So really she’s doing great. If I was watching my 20 year old after surgery I wouldn’t leave her for days straight. But I would leave for an hour. Like kid, you got everyone? Good. Watch a movie I be back before it’s done.
It may be excessive but like I said it may just be genuine worry 🤷♀️
@courtney I definitely understand that. I was just thinking about it and was like shit am I the bad parent. I’d leave my kid for the hour to do something lol. But as I see most find it a bit excessive. So at least I’m still within norm lol.
Definitely not a bad parent! I’m medicated so I relate to the excessive bit 😅
I mean yes and no.. my uncle had a shoulder surgery it was a minor procedure but a few days after he had some crazy life threatening complications and had to be rushed back into another surgery to repair it. So I kind of understand the abundance of caution. I think my uncle was like in his 30s staying with my parents at the time and when the situation happened they had to drive him to the hospital cuz he couldn’t take himself.