Struggling

Im 31 weeks pregnant and feel absolutely exhausted! I am a stay at home mum with with a 2 year old and am struggling to look after him. He is 100mph and very clingy. He wants me to play with him constantly, he wont sit and play on his own. I admit i have made him this way as i have always played with him and never encouraged independant play. I can now barely sit and have a coffee without him having a tantrum grabbing at me to play. He is also still a bad sleeper waking 3/4 times a night and has stopped napping from 18 months. I get help of my parents on a wednesday morning and my in laws on a thursday and im finding all im doing is wanting to sleep and most of the housework gets abandoned. My husband works long hours and when hes off hes looking after our son while i nap for a hr and then catching up on housework etc, this is now starting to effect our relationship as im just tired all the time and my husband is working long hours then just catching up on housework or looking after our son and has hardly any chill time. Im worried how im going to cope when the baby is here and how my son will be as i can imagine he will be very jealous! Im also worried for my relationship aswel.
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I could have written this myself!! My 2 year old son is EXACTLY the same and I have the same worries as you! I’m due in 5 weeks time 😬 if you ever want to chat my DMs are always open! X

Being pregnant with a toddler is honestly so so hard. My second was born in October and I kept seeing posts saying that it was easier than 2 under 2. What I will say is take advantage of all the rest you can get now with no guilt as pregnancy tired/exhaustion is no joke. I think our toddlers are at an age now where they can slyly comprehend what we’re saying so maybe try explaining to him that mummy will sit on the sofa whilst you play here etc. Maybe also try toys/activities that only require one person I.e painting/drawing etc. I really feel you on the nap front because I was at one point waiting till 12/1pm every day for my toddler to nap so we could nap together. Maybe also try incorporating the housework into play. So when I’m washing, my son will play with his fake sink, or if I’m hoovering, I’ll ’chase’ him with the hoover and press the button and it’s a game to him.

Although 2 under 2/3 is hard, the tiredness aspect is 100% more manageable than whilst pregnant so you have that to look forward too. All the best, you’re doing great xx

I'm here with you. My wee girl is 2 tomorrow and I'm 31 weeks pregnant too. The struggle is real 🙃

Being pregnant with a toddler is no joke. When I had my second (he's 17w now) my first was 20 months and the last 10 weeks (at least) of pregnancy were so so difficult. She became clingy and sleep was horrific. I have personally found it a whole lot easier having a newborn with a toddler than being pregnant with a toddler. My husband looks after toddler at night and I look after baby and it seems to have settled.

You need to start showing him some of your emotions as well. Tell him that you are pregnant with a baby, tell gum if you’re too tired to play, your back hurts, you want to sit down and eat. And the most important thing is to tech him to learn to be patient. It will not happen right away, I do expect lots of crying and screaming because that’s normal but it has to start somewhere. There are different methods, with my daughter I just speak to her and she will listen to me saying “no crying, and tell mama what you want” - which she’ll repeat “no,no, and say what she wants”. Independently play needs to happen gradually over time, so you can start by playing together then tell him that you are going to stop and go get some coffee, and that you’ll be right back. Then you go and come back, but then sit somewhere he can see you and then let him know that you’re just going to have your coffee first, then you’ll go and play with him. You need to also get him to feel your bump.

Let him know a baby is coming, get him to feel the kickings, teach him to show love to your bump Lillie kissing and hugging. When you play with him or read a book together, always include the baby in the bump. When baby arrives it’ll still take a bit of time for him to adjust, but it’s about letting him know what you are doing and don’t leave h out of things if he shows interests in helping.

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