I feel like I’m unattractive when husband looks at other women
When we have sex it seems to me like he’s closing his eyes to imagine other women so he can come. I say this because I tell him to keep the lights on and then he says it’s ok let’s switch it off… I want to be intimate so I go with his flow. He looks at other women secretly and when I gaze over at his phone and catch him looking. It’s heartbreaking because I think he’s the most attractive man to me and I never think of other men in that way. I just wish he felt the same way with me. We’ve had the chat before about him looking at other women, online or in public, and he’s promised he won’t again but we all know he’s just saying that. I honestly feel like I’m just old news and he needs someone new and exciting to get him going. I think this was more a vent and I’m emotional about this subject.
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Sex with the lights on is less seductive IMO, much prefer the dark!
I felt this way for awhile, then I remembered there are some beautiful people that exist and there will always be..it’s normal to look but not normal to lust. What are you doing to build your self esteem? I think you should focus on that, it might help you feel a little better.
Sounds to me like he has a porn addiction. I’d bet $$ on it in fact. Facebook has a really great support group for spouses of pornography addicts. Has helped me through the worst nightmare I ever could have imagined in finding out all of my (now EX!) husband’s porn/sex (just not with me…) addictions. Feel free to DM me if you need extra support or just to vent.
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During sex maybe he’s just in the zone or feels self conscious with the light on? It doesn’t necessarily mean he’s thinking of someone else. I don’t think it’s cool for him to check out other women obviously in front of you (especially as you’ve told him this upsets you). But I think you’re setting yourself up for a fall if you think he’s not going to look even privately. You’ll likely find that he has and then you will also be upset that he’s broken a promise. And aside from his phone, you can’t keep tabs on his imagination. This doesn’t mean he wants to be with them or prefers them to you. It’s not real life. I’m sure you can appreciate when a male celebrity is attractive? It doesn’t mean you’re not attracted to your partner. Do you feel unattractive in yourself generally? Does he complement you or make you feel attractive apart from this? Maybe you need some reassurance that you’re the one for him.