Unsure on second baby
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I have a 3w old. Is she gorgeous? Is she cute? Yes and yes. Is the newborn phase as awful as I remembered? Also, yes. Frankly, it's shit 😂
It's like I wrote that. And another thing I'm worried about is that I'm getting old.. I don't want to give birth after the age of 35 and I'll be 32 in February. And my partner always says he wants one but when I say we should do it sooner rather than later he's like 'there's time'. And I think to myself 'well, not really'..
@Shona thanks for the message! I had a difficult birth (long/forceps)but my daughter was relatively ‘easy’ so I’m more worried I’d get a terror this time round 🤣 but regardless of her being pretty chill generally I didn’t really enjoy the newborn phase. I felt like it got a bit easier for a while but now my daughter is a crazy toddler and I just find it exhausting and overwhelming a lot of the time.
@Dona I’m 35 so even less time for me!
I’m expecting my second child in a few months, and I had similar thoughts. But when I really reflected on it, I reminded myself that life moves forward, and this phase won’t last forever. In a few years, I’ll look back and cherish the memories of when my baby was small…. the sleepless nights, the 2 a.m. cuddles in bed. I know that one day I’ll regain my freedom, and my children will grow to be self-sufficient and independent. That perspective gave me the confidence to have my second, and now that I’m in the midst of it, I’m even open to the idea of a third. 🥹
Ah different perspective. That's interesting. Still very valid thoughts though. I think we are 98% sure we are going to try for a second but it's taken us awhile to get to that point.
@Pixie this is lovely and great to heat such a positive perspective! Good luck with your second 💕
I’ve been thinking about it a lot recently, I don’t want to go back to my career BUT I found the newborn stage soooo hard so how do you do that with a toddler 😭 hats off to the mamas that do
Thank you for sharing such a honest post
Don't get me wrong, I don't think after 35 women are old to have babies, a friend of my mom's had her boy a week after me and she was 50 at the time, so nowadays it's never too late. It's for me personally I don't want to be 50 and still look after small children or teens. 😅 at 50 I want to live my life and travel the world (wanted to do that in my mid twenties while flying for Emirates but met my partner and now I only travel to Tesco on the weekend 😂😂)
I had all these thoughts while pregnant with my second and a week into her being home I had a what the hell have we done moment we've ruined our family of three but very quickly we realised she completed our family and now we can't remember what life was like with just one child before she came along. I have 13 months and 4 days between my two and the first couple of weeks were tricky but once the first month was gone it got easier and easier and now having an 8 month old and a 20 something month old my day to day routine is a peace of cake with handling them both. I struggle with wanting to go back to work but know I don't have to so it's afforded me the time to return to old hobbies and start new ones. Don't get me wrong it will have its moments but for us it's completely worth it
Yes! We are in exactly the same bought with regards to our feelings apart from the fact my hubby took some convincing then terrified me when he suggested we started trying last Sept! We've delayed starting to try until my LG is at least 2. Some days I still wonder if we are stupid for even contemplating it but like you I've always wanted two. My feelings are also that I feel a bit cheated out of a normal delivery (I had an emergency c section) she had colic, hated her pram and sleep so I feel like I want a do over if that makes sense. Don't get me wrong I love my little girl and I know I could have the exact same experience next time round but I'd still like to try! Not sure if you feel any of that too. I feel silly for feeling that way but can't help it.