Anyone else’s parents being ridiculous? Need a rant!

Long story short I live three and a half hours away from my family and had my little boy on the 27th. My parents were due to come up for 5 days to help us settle in, meet him and generally just help us whilst we navigate this new world. I had a chat with them before my son arrived and explained what I’d need them for and my step Mum agreed that they were coming up to help me and my fiance and not just to hold/see the baby. Since arriving on the 31st of Jan, they’ve blitzed my house and made us dinner and held the baby and genuinely just been great. Or so I thought. They had the audacity to come up to my bedroom whilst I was BF on Sunday to say that we’re not letting them help us and are treating them like slaves, raising their voices and making me cry. They said that we’re not letting them feed and change the baby (bearing in mind my baby is combi fed and eight days old) and that they were being treated like children who were not allowed to look after their grandson and be grandparents. I told them that they’re not here to parent my child, that they were there to look after theirs and help settle in our new life. They said a few other things about us wasting food (we asked them not to make dinner too big and also understand our appetites) And got upset when I wanted to go to bed early and leave my son with his dad so I can get some rest. They ended up storming out yesterday morning because we’re treating them like children and don’t feel like we want them here. I’ve never seen them act this way before but I’ve decided not to talk to them for a bit, because I’ve never experienced something so ridiculous from grown adults. Anyone else having parent problems? 😂

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Thankfully no I’ve not had this but what the actual fuck 😂 if they hadn’t stormed out I’d have kicked them out. Absolute lunacy. Wishing you the best and congratulations on your baba x

My parents aren’t as ridiculous but since having my baby my mum has been wanting to parent her and not look after me. I think something just changes with them when they become grandparents 😅

I’m so sorry. That sounds so stressful and the last thing you need right now. I can understand they want to hold and cuddle the baby but they could be a bit more understanding. It is more then understandable to want to feed and change your own baby especially when they’re young. The wasting food thing sounds petty and probably was just said in the heat of the moment. You’ve just had a baby so of course will be tired and not fair of them to get upset at you wanting to go to bed early. I’m really sorry that it didn’t go well and hopefully in a few days things will have settled and can be talked over. They were probably just really excited to do everything for their grandchild and struggled with boundaries being put in (more then fair for you to do so!). My babies not born yet but worried about telling them and worried people won’t listen to rules ie no kissing baby, no visitors initially. So probably have all this to come! Hope you’re okay. X

@Skye I tried to rationalise it in my head, like did I actually do anything wrong and I’m sure I didn’t 😂 I did tell them though their feelings don’t matter right now, only ours!

@Phrances there’s a grandparent switch I reckon, which is absolutely fine but you can do all of that with them when they’re older. For now, they’re my tiny baby.

@Helen it was a nightmare and I’m so happy they left! Absolutely force your boundaries and keep to them because you’ll see when they’re here that people just don’t listen. My parents kissed my boy on the head a few times and I had to tell them repeatedly not to. I even got the midwife to say it in front of them on my day 5 check! X

Yes with the in-laws! They mean well but are a bit overbearing and don't like giving our baby back to us unless she needs feeding (she's breastfed) or a nappy change. I don't think they understand that there are more ways to be helpful than just taking our baby off us all the time. I think learning how to be grandparents is a very different thing to becoming parents and not everyone gets that difference and where the boundaries are!

@Deanna 💯 agree, my MIL is great and respectful of our boundaries so we let them have our LO more, even overnight recently (my LG is 6 months old) whilst because of my mum’s behaviour she’s made not want to leave my LG with them and makes me quite aloof to her ngl

@Deanna you didn't even let them kiss baby on top of their head? Sorry I find this abit much. He is their grandchild, I think sometimes people forget this.

@Rebecca that's a very common request and there are so many other ways they can show your baby affection, grandparents or not, no one else is entitled to kiss your baby if you don't want them to. My baby was born in the Autumn so we asked grandparents not to kiss her until we'd got through the winter cold/flu/rsv season and she'd had all 3 sets of her vaccinations. To be fair that's one boundary everyone has followed no problems! I don't mind them kissing her now, because we're through the peak of winter bugs and I know her immune system is stronger now if she did pick anything up.

@Rebecca with it being cold and flu season, it’s just not something I want to risk. They were absolutely allowed to cuddle him and hold him but until he’s had his vaccines, the only people allowed to kiss him is me and his dad.

@Deanna nope nope and nope you absolutely did nothing wrong!!! No offence to them but no, their feelings are completely invalid to you as a brand new mumma. Sucks for them to hear it but it’s true. Your priority is yourself and baba, not whether they wanna feed, change and play parent again… x

@Skye I feel validated. Thank you 😂 I’ve just never been so confused at the behaviour of grown adults before.

@Deanna honestly people lose their minds when someone has a baby it’s crazy 😂 I hope they come round and apologise to you!!

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