What’s the party invite etiquette?

General rule of thumb is you invite everyone in the class or no one at all. It’s not cool to exclude anyone.

You don’t have to invite everyone, that’s just silly. There’s 28 kids in my daughter’s class, no one has done a party for that many kids. I let my daughter pick 10 friends and then I handed out the invites to the parents, that’s been roughly the same for the parties we have attended too. It doesn’t have to be weird, if the topic comes up just say you let your child choose.

I've found that parents and kids are pretty understanding! My little girl got upset once about not being invited to one and I reminded her of how she had a limit for hers too and she said 'yeah you're right' and moved on. If the mom says anything just say that you wished you could invite everyone but you put the power in your little ones hands.

If you're just inviting a few people leaving them out is fine, but if you're inviting everyone else it's not 🤷

I think that’s my mistake, i let my girl hand out the invites because she was so excited. But i told her to not show anyone and to get her friends to put it away straightaway. But they’re kids!!! I should’ve given it to the parents. Plus the party is a package, so inviting more would be $$.

If you let your kid hand them out, as a teacher I'm saying this....that child will hand them out during lunch and they will not be discreet. Other kids are going to know and it's gonna hurt. You dont have to invite everyone. Just talk to the teacher and see if she can email the invite to certain parents on her app. I've had parents ask me and i didn't mind doing it. I also handed out invites at the end of school day. There's always something I needed to handback to students, so the ones with invites got their assignment back with the invite on top and they'd leave class first so that no one saw it during school.

@C I should’ve handed it to the teacher again this year, we were more discreet last year. I feel so embarrassed now. Oh well, I know for next time! 😶

I think it’s more the way they were handed out that’s the issue. Plus if you’ve only invited a few girls and not all the girls except her then it’s fine. Although I’ve done a class party I let her choose who to invite but make sure she includes her friends. Her school is different as they change classes each year. She’s not been invited to a few parties but she accepts that she doesn’t play with them anyway.

Just for future reference, I don't know if your daughter handed them out at school or not but I wouldn't advice doing that either way. Im a teacher in a school and tell parents and kids they cannot give out invites at the school unless everyone is invited otherwise it causes too much drama.

@Karen only 6 invites were given out. So definitely not singling out the girl.

@Grace i really had a lapse in judgment thinking we could be discreet. But the moment i got to the school, and the first invite was given out. I knew i made a mistake. The invite was discreet, but then her friend ran off to give it to her mum, who was chatting to another. I won’t be making that mistake again. Its been haunting me all day!

@Cat not everyone can afford to have a party for the entire class. Especially if it's a class of 30 +

@Jade💃🏻 oh bless ya! These things happen and you learn, too late now but don't feel bad for not inviting everyone!

@Samantha then you shouldn’t be inviting a lot of people period. 3 close friends is enough. Inviting half the class and not anyone else is not cool.

@Cat According to you she should have no one because she's not wealthy enough to have birthdays

If you feel weird about it and have a friendship with this person. Say I told my daughter she can invite who she wanted. Maybe you can make plans with just the mom but you don't get to pick your kids friends. And I don't think everyone should be invited. If you are at work, you wouldn't invite everybody in the office to your party to make everybody feel good.

@Samantha oh chill the heck out and climb down off that high horse. I’m a teacher and I see how it affects kids when they’re not invited to parties their classmates were. If you cannot invite the whole class then inviting half of them is not okay either. And frankly yea. Don’t be bringing invitations to school for some kids and not others. It’s messed up. If you want to invite those close 3-4 friends then send it directly to the parents. Then no one is feeling left out when their kid comes home asking why they weren’t invited

@Cat then why did you not write that! Why did you say all class or no class. You just don't think of people how they read stuff or their money situation do you!

@Samantha clearly you’re having a hard time because of your personal money issues. Perhaps don’t project onto other people and seek a therapist instead. And it’s very simple hon. You invite everyone or you just don’t do the whole thing. Maybe think about the kids instead of this whole money thing you’re stuck on. And don’t presume other people’s financial situations either.

@Cat also a teachers aid is not a fucking teacher. Also I don't need therapy thank you very much bitch

@Samantha babe. I was a teachers aide just cause I don’t update this doesn’t mean you know anything about me. I was an aide over two years ago and have been a teacher since. And yes. You clearly do 🤣

Thank you for everyone’s feedback, I appreciate it. My daughter only invited one friend from her class, the rest are spread in different classes. She’s inviting 5 people from school. I don’t always see the parents in the morning, so thought we could be discreet in getting the kids to put it in their bag straight away. Have learnt my lesson now and will figure out another way in future.