Would you be offended?

I agree with you!

Not sure if that's something said in jest in his family, my family are very similar and you have to develop a thick skin when they make "jokes" or comments like that, but your sister isn't his family so I'd definitely emphasise that boundary, calmly and say comments like that, joking or not, about your family are a no go

I think when fat is used as a word to hurt/harm others we should call it out. Hurting others with our words is not ok.

@Kate that’s exactly how I feel tbh. Maybe because although he is technically family, it would definitely upset my family and my sister gets upset at any comments joke or not because she is the same position as I was at her age, she’s being bullied in school and being called all sorts of names that are completely untrue and actually opposite of what she is. So I am very protective of her and I don’t want her to have negative things said about her. We also do joke in my family but we never directly use the word fat as that offends everyone in my family for the same reason I have. His family don’t make jokes like that really, they tend to say “this person is really large” then laugh about it. It doesn’t come across as making a joke, it comes across as them being nasty and laughing about it. Whereas my partners dad will make jokes about his own weight but he doesn’t comment on others. His family definitely love to gossip but it’s more of his mums side

@Kate like my partners mum joked that our daughter is going to have to cover her ears up when she’s older(right now she’s too young to understand)because basically she was saying they look weird. I was a bit like well no I want her to embrace herself. I feel like his family are very much judgemental

Your partner sounds mean and spiteful. Like you said, first of all it was an accident and secondly, she’s a child? How about every time HE makes a mistake you throw it back in his face and see how he likes it? 🙄 You’re not being silly because again, imagine if your sister had overheard that and that was the start of her having a lifelong eating disorder because she thought she had a fat arse. What children hear from their loved ones has a huge impact. You also mentioned about your MIL saying your daughter’s ears are weird and she should cover them up? Yea you better nip that shit in the bud immediately because she will end up with a complex about it because your MIL will let her comments slip around her. Set your boundaries about them watching their words around her.

Can't respond back to you directly but yes that sounds a bit like it came from a hurtful place with him then, especially if he's grown up around people who take it upon themselves to comment on other people, hopefully this is a one off and you telling him you're not happy with it means it won't happen again but I'd be calling him out on any comments like that in future

Definitely not silly, I couldn’t imagine how he speaks to people at school and if she thinks saying stuff like that is funny he could say it to the wrong person and that person could have an eating disorder or anything, kind words only over here x

@Neena that’s what I was thinking but he made me feel ridiculous for getting upset over it. I also got an eating disorder from name calling from people even people who claimed they were joking. It made me so self conscious and I still haven’t fully gotten over everything and now I’m an adult. And I thought exactly the same. I did tell her not to say that or anything like that to her but I also think she is projecting because she covers her own ears. There isn’t anything wrong with my daughter’s ears, no matter whose ears she has “inherited”. It makes me so mad

Jesting about weight to a pre teen can have serious consequences. I know he didn’t say it in front of her but it feels bad taste to say that about a kid