Should i complain?

I would!!! thats a wild stretch from her over basically nothing at all…..not to mention this would be considered baiting the child (which isn’t allowed in that type of questioning even if that WAS happening) because you’re/they’re basically prompting the kid to say what they want to hear!

It sounds like maybe she just misunderstood but not intentionally trying to put things in his head. Did she say anything further throughout the appointment?

@Amanda thats what i was thinking she blatantly ignored me and i feel like she was trying to get something out of him if that makes sense?

@Leah not really but the whole appointment she was a little off it was strange

I don't want to be an ass and cause her problems if i complain but at the same time i feel like she was prompting and trying to imply things

@Hayley hm, gotcha. If you feel the need to complain then by all means do it. I think nurses can be protective I guess and just want to make sure everyone is okay. I wouldn’t think much of it because I know there is nothing abusive going on in my household.

@Hayley oh definitely. I was literally IN a DV situation a few years back and nothing like this ever happened to me….. Pediatric nurses should KNOW that if something like that is even questioned….you let the child do ALL the talking. You do not repeat their words or anything like that, because kids are easily directed to answer based on what you say. And even then, it is done AWAY from the parents and by a specific professional, not just a nurse.

@Leah yeah true i do get that which is why part of me does not want to take it further because i know she has a job to do. But at the same time now im like wow imagine if she decides to flag me to social services. Someone told me they do that a lot. I think i felt insulted more than anything

@Hayley now that I would be concerned about as well, I definitely get that.

@Amanda im just shocked how it happened. To blatantly ignore me as well and ask him that like shes trying to get an answer out of him hes 2. The other day he said he didnt like me and loved daddy. They say the wildest things. We also taught him to say don't hit me (incident in the park with a little boy who hit him) he went weeks saying don't hit me even in public. All he was trying to tell her is he was asking mummy and daddy for more. I know my child, i know what he says when strangers dont 😂😂 hate it when you walk into the room and they act like they know your child to a t

@Leah over something so silly as well! I have great relationships with every health visitor, i have never had any issues. I have a workshop with some health visitors tomorrow do you think itw worth mentioning?

@Hayley yeah, especially if it’s weighing heavy on you. Like I said for me I’d probably not think too deep into it but at the same time like you said, the possibility of her taking it further than it should can happen so I would probably mention to them how uncomfortable that made you feel.

Even with the spots. My son has sensitive skin he breaks out in spots sometimes. He has a bad habit of picking them and it takes ages to heal as he hates plasters. She saw them and said to him 'oh you picking them, they look so sore' and i said yeah he does all the time and she completely ignored me again?

That would me so anxious. They need to do a better job at training these nurses in how to react to suspected abuse.

@Dianna its insane though. How can you interpret 'bdjsjs mummy sbajajajabaja daddy" into "mummy does what to daddy" banter i wrote a complaint don't know whether to send it or not

I understand where you are coming from, but put yourself in her shoes. Your son just told her that "mummy make bleed." Then he followed that by saying "mummy" and "daddy", other words she couldn't hear and did a smacking hands together motion. I'd be alarmed, too. Even with you explaining what he was trying to say, I'd be concerned. Did she handle it well? Not at all. There are processes in place for a reason. Could she have honestly been concerned for your son and daughter, absolutely. I'm sorry you are going through this. If you know that your kids are safe, loved, and in a happy home, then you have nothing to worry about. It's an awful feeling, though. I've been there twice. My sister threatened me with calling once, and then a lady I knew through work used it as a threat. It does a number on your me tal health, so give yourself some grace and be kind to yourself. I'm sure you are an amazing mum, just remember that ❤️

@Hannah I do get it but to a degree and he's only 2 he doesn't say complete sentences yet. The whole bleed was because she mentioned his spots to her and i always tell him to not pick them because they'll bleed. Do you think i'll be hearing from socials? Quite upsetting makes me feel like an inadequate mum. I have never harmed a single hair on my son or daughters head. Never will they are my life. Really? Twice? But it didn't go any further?

@Hayley i understand why this has you anxious; you feel like they're playing with your child's safety and your family's stability. My girl jumped off her changing table while i was right next to her once and had a sick appt not too long after for a cold. The provider who saw her questioned me in such a way that made uncomfy and left me unsettled af. The only difference was that the provider didn't ignore me the way your nurse did to you. I would speak to the office manager or send that letter because you shouldn't have been treated that way. But i understand your caution in proceeding with this matter. I wish you the best of luck and my sympathy is with you all the way

@Hannah but why would you be concerned it wasn't so much hitting like clapping hands it was putting his hands together literally the asl sign for more ugh stressful

@Hayley, honestly, I don't know. I hope you don't but it is possible. I know, but even at 2 kids can disclose that something is happening at home. Not at all saying that is what happened here. I believe you. Yep. My sister was because we had mould in our poorly designed shower, and the bathroom smelled. It got dealt with and hasn't been an issue since. I was devastated that she said that and can never forget. The person through work was just a bitch and she claimed she knew people in social services as a threat to get me fired. Nothing came of either thing. As far as I know, neither actually even contacted children's services. Both have messed me up pretty well, though.

@Hayley, asl as in? My son signs "help," but I have zero idea if he uses baby signs, Australian sign language, or American Sign language. He points his pointer finger towards his palm so the tip of his finger touches his palm. Not everyone knows sign language, so would have zero idea that that is what he was doing. Kids can, unintentionally, cause some big anxiety and a lot of stress. A story to make you laugh; I took my son into a disabled toilet, and while I was on the loo, he opened the door, so several people walked in and out of the bathroom could see me sitting on the toilet. He is a delight. He also now says "fuck sake" when he is frustrated. I'm mortified as I accidently taught him that, lol I'm terrified about what he is going to spout out in public now. Kids are wild and not for the faint of heart. You are an amazing mum, so regardless of what happens, everything will be OK. You've got this.

Honestly yes you should complain because no one understands what a child is saying. Then when you ask a child a question he's going to just say yes anyway- even if he doesn't even know what she means?

@Libby Florence thank you!! Exactly what i was thinking