Never

Ugh. Feel that.

Having a blast yesterday watching the Super Bowl. He gets home and lights off fireworks for the eagles (we live in Philadelphia). He’s happy, he’s laughing, great time with the kids. Then bam. Sulking. Why? Because his son was not with us. BUT HIS SON WOULDNT OF BEEN WITH US ANYWAY AT 10:30PM ON A SUNDAY. literally shit on my parade. I told him I’m going to bed goodnight and left him to sulk on his own which I’ve never done.

@Diana it’s so frustrating. And if I ever “try” to be in a mood he gets in a mood because I’m in a mood and then his mood takes precedence. Lol like what?

I’m sorry. For me it’s comparing who’s more tired.. he gets uninterrupted sleep..

Why are you with him?

That’s hard and all very consuming! I wish you best of luck. It isn’t easy, but maybe an open ended conversation with “I” statements so he doesn’t feel attacked. I get it though, you can only validate feelings so much til it’s annoying.

Emotionally draining you for sure. Always wants the attention and offload on you his daily problems. Is it just part of his personality?

Have you tried delicately pointing this out and asking if he's thought about therapy? (Well, babe, today it's this and yesterday it was that, and the day before was x, Thursday it was y, etc... Do you feel like you're in a down period and it might help to talk to someone about it?) Men avoid stuff, and especially after a divorce, don't get a lot of healing. If he doesn't want a straight up therapist, maybe he would do a men's/dad's group for some community and perspective.... Definitely include that you need bad days, too. You both have bills, don't feel good, and have crap days at work. You also need support! ❤️

The question is...has he always been like that? If not, what changed? Maybe he needs professional help. In any case, tell him how you feel. Tell him that you love to be there for him and that he can always count on you, but sometimes you need this too. Don't blame him or criticize him, try to speak about your feelings and needs, otherwise he'll shut down and you'll fight.

@Meis @Bonny he hasn’t always been like this, and he’s only like this with me. I spoke to my mil about it. He goes to work and he’s happy and nice. Talks to her he’s fine. With me he’s miserable. She said it’s because I coddle him. I’m always like “omg are u okay what happened what can I do” she said I feed into it. Next time just tell him you’re not dealing with it but then I feel like an ass. I’m always there for him but sometimes I need someone there for me. It’s exhausting having to be the strong one. Aside from that he’s an amazing man and great provider I’m just mentally drained. He feels he doesn’t need therapy. Every damn day I feel like I never know which man I’m going to get and how long it’s going to last. Yesterday I barely spoke to him just to avoid the nonsense and ironically he was up my ass all day maybe his mom has a point. I’m just feeling resentful that everyone gets the great side of him besides me. But I’m grateful he’s comfortable enough to open up to me.

He told me last night he’s depressed. He’s never said that out right before. I know he’s depressed. I asked him if he’d like to talk about it, he said no. So I said well I’m here if you change your mind. I feel like …. God forgive me… He doesn’t want to talk about it cause it might make him feel better and he WANTS to have a reason to sulk and be miserable. Woe is me type of thing

Aww, he wants to talk about it. He's trying to a little every day with you because you make him feel safe. But right now, he needs more support. Convince him to talk to someone. You have the best shot because he trusts you. Depression is tricky because it tells you you don't deserve to feel better. Look at therapists/groups for him to choose, make phone calls and send emails. Once this weight lifts from him, you may have a more engaged version of your husband than you've seen before both in your relationship and as a parent. Try not to see him as uncooperative, see him as blocked... Get him to the help he needs and he'll be able to express his appreciation when he's feeling better.

I feel this

I swear this is what men do, it's so fucking annoying! They say women are miserable, no MEN are miserable!