Need to vent

Hey mamas so I’m apart of a play group called space, some of use will know it an I go with my 7 month old and have been there since he was about 3 months old. I was there on Tuesday and they were talking about co-sleeping. I said I did it with all my babies and a lot of them said the same. I also said I still slept with my 10 year old son, who does have his own bedroom but some nights he just wants to sleep with me likewise my 7 year old son does. That conversation was absolutely fine and I thought it was fine to do that. I believed in my head that one day my kids will think it’s not cool having cuddles with my mum anymore so I’m taking advantage of it. Anyway during our break I overheard 4 mums huddle together talking about it. One mum said it was predatory I did that, the others agreed and then another said she felt sorry for my baby because now he’s the third son to grow up and be victim to what I’m doing to them. They also brought my age into it because I was a teen parent. So another mum had said this is what happens when children have children. I’m 26 so had my oldest at 16. It took everything for me to not cry, and was basically silent til it finished I also hate confrontation and felt hurt that all these woman happily said goodbye to me. I’ve decide I’m not going back because I don’t understand how these woman could indirectly bully me and say cruel things.

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That's rough! My little brother also did the same with my Mum - he slept in her bed til he was quite old. He had night terrors and was afraid of the dark. He turned out fine (I mean debatable, but it wasn't caused by the co sleeping) and stopped eventually!

Please let the co-ordinator know - that is so not ok! Space is about mums supporting each other, not tearing each other down! I’m so sorry this happened to you and you were made to feel that way. Their ignorance and judgement is a reflection on them, not on you.

Also I left space because I found the coordinators so judgy and it just feels like a really judgy mean space to me

As a young mum you had to ignore alot of judgement and learnt to rely on your instincts, and have provided your babies with what they need. Don't let those women make you doubt that. You are your children's safe space and as an older mum I hope that my babies continue to feel that way in their early teens, it will shape them into better humans because they trust that they can always come to you. It's so far from predatory, it's motherly as f !!

I'm so sorry you had to experience that. They sound super toxic and two-faced. My partner and I were really anti co-sleeping before our baby arrived, but he would only sleep on us for the first two weeks after he was born, and between sickness, teething and sleep regressions, we literally wouldn't have survived the first year without co-sleeping! He's now 16 months and if we can't settle him at night, or he wakes super early, I'll sleep with him and he'll wrap his arms around my neck and say 'cuddle'. I truly believe it brings him so much comfort, and as a result, he ends up sleeping more soundly. I love it. I wish I'd done it more, and I will be so sad when he eventually outgrows it. Until then, he'll always know if he's ever feeling lonely, unwell, upset, etc, that he's welcome to come cuddle with me. And I hope from instilling that in him, that once he's too cool for cuddles, he will have learned that he can come to his mum if something is troubling him and he'll know he'll be met with open arms.

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