Advice please

I’ve been struggling in my relationship for a while now. My son’s dad is gone to video games. He wasn’t this way when we met or when I got pregnant so I had no idea what he would transpire into as time went on. So now here I am with my son who’s almost 3 years old. His dad is addicted to video games he plays for 10-12 hrs per day. Now the thing I don’t understand. He plays all the time doesn’t spend time or teach the child anything. Nothing. However, the grown man will get up at a reasonable time if he has to meet up with a friend or whatever. I just don’t get why he can’t get up and hang out with us but he can get up early to be with a friend? The friend is a guy and he is more submissive to men. Not in a sexual way, just as a man with another man. If that makes sense. I’ve told him how I felt and I wasn’t rude about it either it feels like he doesn’t care. He just wants me for xes and I don’t feel ok with it because I need an emotional relationship for me to have xes Idk what to do. I feel pretty defeated.

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This is awful I’m so sorry to hear this! I would give another attempt at raising this issue… if he still doesn’t show he cares then make it clear how unhappy this makes you. Suggest couples counselling (online if easier) if he shows no willingness to change or take the counselling sessions I would suggest going separate ways - it sounds like you have another child in your house not a life partner. Again, I’m so sorry you’re in this situation. How infuriating he was never into video games before! Like why start now when you need to be a responsible, hands on role model to your son. Ugh

@Eisha it really is awful! He don’t understand or care how I feel. Mind you I take full time care of my child who’s autistic. He doesn’t help any. It’s always me. Sometimes I wonder what happens to my child if something happened to me. It’s a very uneasy thought tbh with you.

I’m sorry to hear that, it sounds really rough. Reading this it made me wonder if emotionally he doesn’t know how to deal with having an autistic son and so he threw himself into something that gives him an escape. I am not saying this to excuse the behavior by any means. Video games seem like an easy escape from his reality. I would approach the topic again about how unhappy you are and that you need an equal partner. Counseling is a great place to start. If he isn’t willing to put in the work for your relationship and go to counseling then that tells you all you need to know. Does he work? How does he have 10-12 hrs a day to play video games? What did he say the first time you approached the topic?

@Caitlin unfortunately he’s in denial admins that’s realize he has a problem. Yes he works but he’s laid off right now. It’s just not working out.

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