hoarding seeping in

my MIL has had a great many issues. one of which is that she struggles with hoarding. she has a much more honest attitude about it than most people, but it is what it is. i would like to say, the hoarding isn’t something i judge. what i disagree with is the way she brings other people in, and abuses them as a result. her and my partner have a lot of dark history. simply for some context, she struggled with addiction. it’s amazing to get clean, but she really doesn’t like to hear the side where she isn’t just the survivor. she verbally attacks her children viscously when they try and hold her accountable or honestly if they just try to be open about their experiences with her. for these reasons, helping her with deeper issues like her hoarding is not something my boyfriend and his siblings are willing to do. the issue i actually need to address is that she’s started getting BAGS of clothes for my son. i got a diagnosis OCD for quite awhile ago. i struggle if my space is chaotic, and this isn’t a secret even from her. it throws me off when i can’t keep my environment organized, and it starts kind of a negative chain reaction for me. if it’s not clean, i have to fix it. every out of place item feels like something someone could really hurt themselves with or that my son could choke on. i have accepted that a part of being okay for me, is to stop that spiral before it starts. i truly do appreciate her thought, but i have a one year old son and she’s buying clothes that he won’t fit until probably third grade. i have been taking them because she is being nice, but it’s actually becoming a storage nightmare. she’ll freak out if we get rid of or don’t accept anything. what would you do?

Show your support

Tell her you don’t have the space to store them so please stop buying them. If she doesn’t listen donate them all

I can relate; we have a similar situation. We repeatedly tell her we have no space and don’t need the stuff. Often we won’t accept it and make her take it back. Sometimes we just take it and make space but it is really hard. You don’t want to be mean or come across as ungrateful but at the same time you do need to protect your own sanity 🙏 the thing is she will give you so much stuff that she won’t remember it all or know if you donate some of it 🤷🏻‍♀️ if it’s new/good quality you could also sell it but appreciate that just creates extra work for you.

I agree with the above, she’s clearly giving you excessive amounts and there’s no way she would be able to keep track! I would start organizing it all by size and start slowly donating all the bigger stuff to either a goodwill type of store or give them away on mommy groups to moms in need! 💜

Stop taking them. If she wants to hold onto them whatever but I'm not doing that over here. Tell her you don't have the space to keep clothes he won't fit into for a few years. Let her know that you can't hold onto it and that you'll have to donate them in the future.

She’s probably got no idea what she’s given you. Pick out the bits you like and donate the rest. Be sure to take a photo of him wearing things she’s bought for him.

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