Should I sent daughter to Grandparents when she doesn’t want to?

My 2 year old has been going to the in-laws for Thurs/Fri since I had my second baby. This was to help me out as I was finding it hard to give her the attention she needed while caring for a baby that wouldn’t be put down. Now my second is 5 months I find looking after the two of them no problem. My in-laws still want my toddler every week, but she has started getting upset and throwing tantrums when I say she is going to go to theirs, and I have to fight her to get her in the car and she gets so upset them I leave. I have said to my in-laws that she will not be going to them anymore and they got all upset as I had originally said they would be having her until I go back to work in May. Once she’s calmed down she does have a nice time with them, it just breaks my heart that she says she wants to stay with mummy and baby sister instead.

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I have the same age gap. It’s tough when they just want mummy but I think I would be keeping up the thurs Fri while you have the offer of help. I have mine every single day and I’d only love some more 1o1 time with either child ☺️ It’s also a great chance to strengthen the bond between the grandparents and your daughter 🫶🏽 and perfect practice at being away from you for when you do go back to work!

Two days seems a lot when you are at home - how about a morning or afternoon ? They could come to you and take her out somewhere nice ? What will the arrangement be when you go back to work - will she have to go there or Nursey or something xxx

@Jade she currently goes to nursery Mon-Wed and will be going full time when I go back to work.

I would take the two days thurs and Friday to enjoy with her before you go back to work. If she’s at Nursey 3 days she probably just wants to spend some time with you as she knows baby is getting that time. I think it’s an easy excuse for you to say to the GP why she won’t be going any longer . Maybe do like 1 day a month for them x

If my kids don’t have to do something, not counting nursery when I was working because we had no other choice, and they really don’t want to then I don’t force it. Maybe she’d like to do the odd day with the Grandparents but twice a week every week is quite a lot. It’s lovely that they’ve been happy and willing but equally this is your time to enjoy with them both before you go back to work. I think it’s important to listen to how they feel at this age and if you can accommodate to a certain extent then you should, I’m sure she’d be so happy to say I want to stay with you and you say okay let’s do it. It’s so important for their little voices to be heard even at this age. Sounds like your in a hard position though trying to please everyone, it’s a lot of pressure x

I agree with everyone else! I think if she were at home for you the other 3 days it would be different, but because she’s already at nursery, I would keep her at home for those other two days. Maybe grandparents can do an occasional day or even every other week for just one day? Might make it more exciting for her to go, and also make her feel less left out!

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