In laws
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Hey there! My mother in law tries to overstep boundaries as well. However, my husband and I stand our ground. For example, she came over a few weeks ago because she wanted me to help her pick out decorations for my father in law's surprise birthday party. My kids were napping. She heard our youngest not crying just making noise and she asked me about 3 times if I wanted her to go get them. Each time I said no. The 3rd time I told her I did not want her going to wake up my kids and needed her to pick our birthday decorations. She won't cross boundaries with my sis in law. My sis in law doesn't put up with it, therefore it seems she thinks she can try it with us. We just stand our ground. At 1st I never really stood up for myself. Once I became a Mom the gloves came off and I have no problem telling her no. I know it can be tough. However, if you don't set boundaries she will keep doing it because she knows she can get away with it. I would also talk to your husband. You come first before his Mom.
Just from reading this it sounds more like your husband is the issue here. You need to have a sit down with him about being a united front and the importance of your boundaries. I don’t think phone calls or video chats 4/5 times a week with your child is necessarily bad… especially if MIL lives far away and doesn’t get to see you all much. Even the matching dresses I could forgive. But showing up to your birthing room and making you feel like she’s trying to take over your role as mom is a problem. I hope you get the issue resolved 🫶🏼
Hi! I have had similar problem, you have set the boundaries yourself. I kept quite until I have had enough and exploded, would suggest to avoid that 🤣you need to have a firm conversation with your partner and explain your feelings and then also have a conversation included your mother in law, and express your feelings too, if her feelings get hurt somehow, don’t take much notice of it. The most important bit is that you talk it out and stand your ground x