My sister told me about giving them choices and it's worked for us. As in you decide what to offer them, just this/that but both things are things you're ok with. Like carrot or cucumber. Bing or Bluey. Just simple things.
Oh we're so in the middle of this too! Some days we get by ok but others I'm just totally drained.
You are just describing what is happening with my LO... It's so frustrating!! He stopped pulling hair but now has started biting... We have been referred to a speech therapist and probably a paediatrician as well...