abuse

had a physical altercation while i was wfh today and i called the cops , granted i had ever right to (he choked me) and now i feel bad bc i know it was a build up of his dad begin severely sick and seeing him like that yesterday crying, being overly worked and tired , ontop my 6am start today in the room . still no excuse he should’ve communicated better, i just know this opened a door of legal battles for him and roadblocks . the cops were overly pushy and not respecting my request and continued to pry and made me answer questions how they would like it’s been since 8am this morning it’s 5:30 and he hasn’t been picked up i know he’s scared and im scared for him 😩 i just wanted to vent i already prayed and gave it God . i’m not the judge of him is all im saying just wish i would’ve not been reactive like him and just didn’t call the cops … yes he’s black and that’s why i fear

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I’m sorry but normal, good, non abusive men don’t just choke their partner when they’re stressed or facing challenging family circumstances. The statistics of choking specifically and how men who choke their spouses are amongst the most dangerous and will likely escalate are horrifying. Don’t feel guilty, he deserves to stay there and think about what he did. You weren’t being reactive you were being smart. To have let it fly and chalk it up to him being stressed would actually be a huge disservice to yourself and him.

Umm he choked you!! Because he was overwhelmed with life and crappy circumstances happening.. This isn't normal. This is abuse. You don't choke your partner. Period. What would have happened if you lost consciousness? Calling the police is the right thing to do- you were terrified. This person needs help and if charges are what he needs to learn and mandated counseling then so be it. I'd be leaving this relationship before things get worse. This is NOT love!!

Dont feel bad. Choking is NOT a stress relief cause his family member's sick. No maam. Do not excuse this behavior in any circumstance. He deserves everything thats coming to him.

You called it abuse for a reason it is exactly that.

You didn’t “open a door of legal battles and road blocks for him” HE did that and you responded appropriately. Sorry that happened to you but you did the right thing. Continue to protect yourself and I hope he gets the help he obviously needs.