I use a nipple shield a lot to help manage the flow. I find if I let my girl get properly hungry she sucks quickly and really hard then chokes. I use the shield if she’s already fussy. When I try get in there before she knows she’s hungry she’s a lot calmer and she doesn’t trigger such a violent let down it seems
You can pump just enough to get one let down before feeding to help a fast let down! I usually do this for middle of the night pump and early morning when I know I'm really full and it'll come out too fast for baby. Plus it's a great way to start a date night stash if you want one
I’ve heard the side lying position or laying on your back can help slow the flow down? Not sure if you’ve already tried these positions though!