Don’t know what to do anymore…

Right now at this moment in time, I hate being a mom. There’s nothing good about being a parent. Trying my best to discipline my boys and they’re laughing in my face. I know it could be a phase or at least that’s what I’m hoping but I don’t know what to do anymore. I have zero support as my mom lives 100 miles away, their other half of the family simply don’t care enough and only see them if I take them there. I’m at the point where I wish I could just leave but at the same time I love them with all my heart, it’s tearing me apart. Everyone says get out playgroups etc but by the time I’ve survived getting me and them ready I don’t want to do anything because it’s been such hard work getting to that point. There’s 168 hours in a week and I can’t even get an hour to myself from anyone. I don’t know what I’m doing on here saying this just think I need to vent. Hoping there’s others that understand how I’m feeling and I’m not just a terrible person.