Wanting to leave
I can't believe that I am even making this post right now. We have been together for 5.5 years and Married for 2. We have a 10 month old daughter and yall I am tired. Emotionally tired. I am a SAHM in Arkansas, and between taking care of the baby and trying to keep up with house chores of course not everything gets done. He always says to ask him for help but i feel like i shouldn't have to and half the time when i do he has an attitude so i stop asking. Tonight i literally asked him to make me a bowl of cereal so it wouldnt be soggy by the time she fell asleep and he had an attitude about it. He'll say that hes gonna do something and most of the time its me that winds up doing it. From the time our daughter was born to about 4 months old he had extreme anger issues. He never hit us or hurt us but was constantly breaking things in the house. He finally backed off when i talked to him and told him he needed to back off. Within the past couple of months though that anger has slowly been making a return. 2 weeks ago he punch a hole in one of our doors and when i reacted, i was made to feel bad about reacting to him being overly angry. Anytime we argue he talks to me like im stupid and victimizes himself saying that its always all about me when in reality anytime i ever try to say a disagreeing opinion, im in the wrong.
The problem though is I am terrified to leave because of our daughter. He cant take care of her and barely helps me at all. He holds her for less than an hour a day. I can count on 2 hands how many times hes changed her, and on 1 hand how many times he has fed her. She is very attatched to me and at bedtime only wants me. I am so scared if i leave and he fights for custody that somethings going to happen when im not there and i would never forgive myself if something did. Im so scared because i want to leave so much that its starting to really get to me, but the thought of something happening to my daughter when i cant be there to protect her absolutely has me in tears and i feel like i cant leave.
Theres so much more to say but ive already made such a long post and i am so sorry for that. I have been holding this in for months and i just cant any longer. đ
(I made this post in another group last night and only had 1 person comment) im really looking for advice and encouragement. I just feel stuckI can't believe that I am even making this post right now. We have been together for 5.5 years and Married for 2. We have a 10 month old daughter and yall I am tired. Emotionally tired. I am a SAHM in Arkansas, and between taking care of the baby and trying to keep up with house chores of course not everything gets done. He always says to ask him for help but i feel like i shouldn't have to and half the time when i do he has an attitude so i stop asking. Tonight i literally asked him to make me a bowl of cereal so it wouldnt be soggy by the time she fell asleep and he had an attitude about it. He'll say that hes gonna do something and most of the time its me that winds up doing it. From the time our daughter was born to about 4 months old he had extreme anger issues. He never hit us or hurt us but was constantly breaking things in the house. He finally backed off when i talked to him and told him he needed to back off. Within the past couple of months though that anger has slowly been making a return. 2 weeks ago he punch a hole in one of our doors and when i reacted, i was made to feel bad about reacting to him being overly angry. Anytime we argue he talks to me like im stupid and victimizes himself saying that its always all about me when in reality anytime i ever try to say a disagreeing opinion, im in the wrong.
The problem though is I am terrified to leave because of our daughter. He cant take care of her and barely helps me at all. He holds her for less than an hour a day. I can count on 2 hands how many times hes changed her, and on 1 hand how many times he has fed her. She is very attatched to me and at bedtime only wants me. I am so scared if i leave and he fights for custody that somethings going to happen when im not there and i would never forgive myself if something did. Im so scared because i want to leave so much that its starting to really get to me, but the thought of something happening to my daughter when i cant be there to protect her absolutely has me in tears and i feel like i cant leave.
Theres so much more to say but ive already made such a long post and i am so sorry for that. I have been holding this in for months and i just cant any longer. đ
(I made this post in another group last night and only had 1 person comment) im really looking for advice and encouragement. I just feel stuck
Iâm so sorry. Youâre in a very hard position. Youâre going to be ok. It may be that you need to wait a while before you leave, but that doesnât mean you canât start planning now. It might be good to talk to a custody lawyer to get a sense of how it works. And a therapist would help you with your feelings. If you think thereâs any hope of fixing your relationship, tell him that if things donât change, you will leave. Make an ultimatum with very clear boundaries and requests and if he canât follow through on them, you could start sleeping on the couch. Itâs possible he could wake up and want to change and save the marriage. If youâre not interested in that, just plan and bide your time. You will do whatâs right for your baby and youâre gonna be ok. Stay grounded and keep yourself as comfortable as possible.